Are violent women a  reflection of a man’s world?

violenceNhlalwenhle Ngwenya
ROBERT Kelly was spot on with his lyrics, “When a woman is fed up, it ain’t nothing you can do about it.” It seems when women are cornered, they unleash untold wrath on alleged offenders. Week in, week out the media has been awash with reports of women who violently react against their partners.

As if in protest against men who have for long inflicted untold suffering, all of a sudden women all over the world seem to have woken up from a deep slumber.

In South Africa, yet to be tried Flabba’s girlfriend Sindisiwe Manqele, fatally stabbed the Hip-Hop singer once on the left side of his chest after an altercation.

It is alleged that Flabba physically abused his girlfriend to the extent that she had to protect herself by retaliating.

Women that are emotionally abused seem to be more violent.

Still fresh in the minds of many is the horror case of Fortunate Nsoro from Chitungwiza who found text messages from a small house in her husband’s phone.

She drugged him and slit his throat over infidelity and betrayal.

A few weeks ago, Highlanders football player Knox Mtizwa met the wrath of his wife Mayebe, when she reportedly scalded him with boiling water after a heated argument.

The recent spate of violent cases that have seen men being victims, leave one wondering, “Are violent women a reflection of a man’s world?”

Different institutions directing noble efforts have tried in vain to curtail domestic violence all over the world. As a result, speculation that women are now reflecting a world they have for so long been subjected to is not far sighted.

Director of Women’s Trust Luta Shaba believes that the fermenting, unaddressed plight of women is the main driver that has pushed women to be perpetrators.

“If you keep on abusing someone continuously and they fail to get help from different state institutions what do you expect? That anger that they have within, pushes them to the limit until they explode. That’s what we’re witnessing currently,” said Shaba.

Society has for long tolerated patriarchal approaches that condone domestic violence, substantiating recent cases that promote eye for an eye approaches in dealing with domestic violence.

Fed up with social institutions that have failed to protect them, women seem to have woken up from a long slumber, doing what they deem necessary for consolidation and survival in a cruel world.

It is from this angle that domestic violence will imminently be a plague that will destroy homes as women seem to, out of options, relish the idea of reacting violently to their spouses.

Sindisiwe Tshuma opted to be a single parent, after a violent relationship, which she believes, could have thrown her into prison.

“My partner was very abusive, even after we had separated, he would call, threatening me with unspecified action. During the course of our relationship, I thought I could free myself by killing him,” said Tshuma.

Women, out of societal context and moral obligations, barely retaliate against their husbands violently, but evidently if cornered resort to extreme measures.

With the recent number of cases where women were perpetrators, its evident women are cornered and they have reached a level where they are prepared to shift from burdening societal norms.

Judging by a number of violent cases whereby women are perpetrators, it is testimony that abused women have a lot of bottled anger resulting in damaging cases of violence.

It is within this context that different organisations and individuals believe that the recent surge in domestic violence is the explosion of a time bomb that has been ticking for quite a long time.

Shaba, in her argument further added that there are two types of women who deal with violence differently.

“There is the first woman who is physically capable of handling a man blow to blow, but she remains silent, because it’s unheard of in our society for a woman to beat her husband. Then there is the timid, physically weak woman who resorts to extreme measures when it comes to violence, these are the cases we usually witness in the media,” she said.

Shaba blamed state institutions that have failed women when they need help.

“State institutions are supposed to help women if they find themselves in violent relationships. But their plight has gone unnoticed. This shadows any woman’s hope of getting help, leaving them to take drastic measures,” she said.

The provincial officer for Bulawayo in the Ministry of Women Affairs, Gender and Community Development, Vaidah Mashangwa said despite women being loving, patient and caring, if they are cornered, they are left with no option.

“In society, it’s known that women are patient, loving, kind and love their partners. Even in abusive relationships, women try to hold on hoping for the best. If you see a woman reacting violently in most cases the situation would’ve gone out of hand.

“With the advent of independent women who subscribe to gender equality and are financially empowered, we’ve witnessed psychological abuse whereby husbands are the victims, therefore we can’t classify women under the same category,” said Mashangwa.

Women have suffered in silence for a long time, adopting men’s approaches to save themselves from violence cases.

It remains to be seen if men are ever going to learn from their mistakes.

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