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Vaidah Mashangwa
WITH promiscuity rife at different tertiary institutions across the country, one can only wonder whether or not youths are ready for a lifetime commitment.

According to a research conducted by International Family Planning Perspectives, 38 percent of the population is aged between 10 and 24 years and the average age for when people experience their first sexual encounter is 18 for both men and women, but many begin sexual experimentation much earlier.

There has been a culture shift over the years. But change is not a bad thing. It is inevitable. However, the dynamic shift from upholding our traditional morals to living like carefree Americans has not been beneficial.

The global transition from traditionalism to modernism has been influential to human spheres such as health, basic financial management, shelter, entertainment, education, relationships, marriages and communication.

We are humans of a different calibre in comparison to those that were here a century ago. Our motivation, our goals, our thoughts, our passions and pastimes have greatly changed and sadly for the worst.

There are numerous reasons why the marriages of our grandparents and those of our parents lasted longer than those of today.

These couples upheld and fully understood the concept of marriage and young adults were sufficiently prepared for what marriage life would involve through active, constant, watchful and wise participation by grandparents, parents, relatives, guardians, aunts, uncles and other participants.

With modernism came educational institutions, better techno-communicative advancements, less manual labour, economic growth and a general improvement in the standards of living.

The concept and growth of modernism is not a bad thing in itself, however, we must be cognisant of the effects it has on culture, tradition, family life, relationships and marriage.

It is of paramount importance that we find a point of equilibrium between modernism and traditionalism. Many are advocates of 100 percent modernism but that would require the total elimination of traditional rules that clearly define the role of women and men in a marriage.

A total elimination of traditionalism, which I doubt could occur within this decade, would be detrimental to the marriage institution especially considering multitudes of unfocused youth oblivious of the long term effects of their misconceptions about life.

Your average 35-year-old and those younger were born in an era during which televisions were readily available in the home.

Although this has been a great improvement to our lifestyles and beneficial to our basic modus operandi, it has also made us imitate western lifestyles.

The lack of participation by parents, grandparents and guardians in the lives of the youth has left them to be raised by the rest of the world through the media.

In early childhood, cartoons play a pivotal role in teaching children the basics of life. During adolescence, music, movies and various television programmes are where life skills corresponding to this growth period are obtained although some content may be irrelevant or harmful to their personal growth.

Hormones play a big role in adolescent behaviour — experimenting and exposure to various forms of entertainment will usually keep them occupied.

This is when curiosity about alcohol, the opposite sex, pornography and the value of money is self-defined for the first time in their lives.

They may make supposedly “trivial definitions” of what value these will play but experimenting leaves scars for the rest of their lives because these self-defined values and interests usually determine the general path that the youth will take until their mid or late 20s when the marriage growth phase now comes into play in their lives.

Few youth ever make it or reach their mid or late 20s with a sound and functional mind and with notable characteristics in terms of emotional stability, sexual stability (levels of promiscuity), maturity, career choices and a clearly defined basic life plan.

For the majority, instead of settling down in their mid or late twenties, they begin the stage of self-discovery.

In the anterior years from adolescence to early adulthood, the majority are still going through the process of experimenting that leads them to engage in sexual orgies, alcohol and drug abuse, excessive partying, irresponsibility with regards to girlfriend/boyfriend choices and health, sexual orientation testing, excessive studying, stealing or looking for ways to make money fast and/or illegally (drugs, prostitution, dating sugar mummies or daddies), dropping out of school, early marriages that disrupt academic goals, depression and obsessive behaviour, among others.

After such exposure, one wonders whether or not the youth can clearly define their life plan, who they are and their role in marriage.

The sad and sincere fact is that today’s youth and children are being raised by the social media (magazines, Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp, and satellite television) and God knows what good or bad they see, hear or base their lifestyles on.

Parents fail to realise the importance of their role in guiding their children’s growth, children are raised further away from their grandparents and relatives, communication levels drop and are eliminated due to busy schedules and many other contributing factors, children have no one to assist them become better human beings.

They have no one to shape them into responsible and wise leaders in our society, dedicated parents and eventually a good husband or wife to someone.

However, as long as there is hope then a solution exists and where there is a will there is a way. We cannot and should not give up on God’s children.

 Vaidah Mashangwa is the provincial development officer in the Ministry of Women Affairs, Gender and Community Development for Bulawayo Metropolitan province. She can be contacted on +263772 111 592 or via email [email protected]