Black women are in the shadows
These two young, black women who star in Grownish brought up the fact that they were in the least sought after group of women which is black women

These two young, black women who star in Grownish brought up the fact that they were in the least sought after group of women which is black women

Bongiwe Nkomazana on Gender
Last week we talked about the stereotypes given to black women and as I was writing on the “strong black woman complex” in particular, another train of thought lingered so as per usual, I will share it with all of you.

I do not aim to portray black women or any woman for that matter, as a victim lamenting over how unfair life has been. Rather, this article is to create awareness around how our actions as a human race, that we take for granted, have a huge effect on the next person.

To read about an issue just plants a seed of deeper thought in our minds and with time we become more conscious of that issue and hopefully change our stance for the better eventually, you know what I mean?

We brought it out last week that black women are literally at the lower end of the spectrum.

“How do you mean?” is the question that I received a number of times and the more people responded with opposing thoughts I began to doubt not just my opinion but my real life experiences and so headed straight to the internet to read more on what other people thought on the matter.

Research has also shown that black women are somewhat invisible when it comes to day-to-day social interactions meaning that they will literally go unheard or unseen (NB day-to-day interactions lead to impactful conversations).

In an article published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology in 2010, Amanda Sesko and Monica Biernat investigated this notion. In summary, they created a panel of eight people that was made up of two black men, two black women, two white men and two white women.

After whatever discussion they were having, the audience was asked to remember and bring up a point that was brought up by each of the members of the panel. They could recall what all the members had said with no problems except when it came to what the two black women had said.

It’s either their points were given to the other six members or were interchanged between them two. I promise you every time I write an issue I learn new things and gain a whole new understanding of whatever topic it is I am writing about. The epiphanies I have had on this platform are numerous.

Anyway, after reading this research my personal experiences, where I have said something at a meeting or gathering and people made eye contact and nodded and it generally looked like they heard me but they really did not, made sense.

As soon as someone else, a man to put it bluntly, repeats me word for word he gets a more positive reaction like what he said being jotted down and followed through. I am always perplexed as to why it is received better coming from him than me.

Most young black women will relate to this and it feeds into diminishing our self esteem because you start to wonder whether you stuck at articulating your ideas or whether your voice is annoying and eventually you just stop saying anything at all yet we have valuable contributions to make.

So the above-mentioned research explains why this happens a lot and even kind of gives us a starting point to move forward with understanding of the root cause of the issue and encourages black women to push harder to be seen and heard.

Now after reading this, I challenge you that every time a black woman is speaking no matter how small the platform, think of this research and how you can help her opinion/idea/concerns be heard. You will thank me later.

I am sure that by now it is clear that I get a lot of my inspiration from TV shows. So I was watching a series called Grownish that narrates the journey of a young black girl as she enters into adulthood.

Another two young, black women who play her friends and college students brought up the fact that they were in the least sought after group of women which is black women. Evidence lies in the dating apps because they have been able to capture how men of all races are more interested in white, Asian, Latina and basically any other race than they are in black women.

Ironically, today the women who are not black but have the features of black women like big lips, chunky in the right places, a good tan and are subliminal in their embrace of the black culture are at the top of the to-get list.

As much as there was a comical twist to it, it got me thinking. I know everyone is entitled to like what they like but I personally cannot help but wonder what it is that has brought black women to the lowest end of the spectrum and made them the least desired. Is it because of all the stereotypes we talked about last week? I mean if I was a man I would love to have a cocoa queen by my side.

However,  like I said, people like what they like but if black role models like the athletes and A-star celebrities that our little boys and girls watch on TV and look up to get partners outside their race it communicates a message to them.

The message could be that when you are successful and wealthy you do not get to be with a black girl or that black girls are not the in-thing or on a more optimistic angle it could teach our children that love knows no race.

Black women fall under the “women” group and we have realised after our deliberations that in this group, women of other races especially the white females, will get their issues prioritised.

Black women also fall under the “black population” group and here it is the black men who take precedence. It is a precarious place to be in but that is where we black women find ourselves…in the shadows.

Both of these groups are marginalised groups and black women are further discriminated against within those groups. I really do not know what can be done do help elevate the black woman but like I said, dialogue around it is a pretty good place to start thinking of ways to do so because no one needs to be convinced about what black women can achieve.

However, we do need to be convinced to allow ourselves to accept the black woman as the force that she is.

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