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Phillipa Lally

Justice Simango

Some people think that all well liked people are born with natural tendencies that attract others. While an inborn personality might play a part in popularity, just as much of it has to do with learned behaviours. Those who are surrounded by people are typically gracious and genuinely interested in others.

There is a scientific study of habits that believes that it takes 21 days of doing the same thing to form a habit. However, when Phillipa Lally, a health psychology researcher studied the habits of 96 people for a study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, she discovered that it took 66 days to establish a new habit.

The most important thing to remember is that showing respect is essential if you want people to see you as a polite person. Whether it takes three weeks or two months, if you want your good manners to come natural, you must learn and practice them every day.

A wide range of people in Bulawayo especially industry leaders are described as polite, humble and to a greater extent down to earth. Well, I have come across polite leaders and it’s the simple basic manners that make them strike. Most of them practice the following basic social skills:

They are friendly and approachable. When you approach someone in business or at a party, smile, extend your hand and offer a warm and pleasant greeting. Be armed with a couple of conversation starters and don’t be afraid to use them. Use the other person’s name several times to help you remember it. This act will help put the other person at ease.

They give other people enough personal space. Most folks are uncomfortable with people they don’t know very well getting too close. If you sense that this is the case, take a step back.

They don’t tell everything they know. Giving too much information (or TMI) too soon is rude and makes others squirm. Most people you don’t know very well prefer not to hear every detail of your health or love life. They also don’t need to know how much money you make or how much you paid for what you’re wearing.

Professionals barely gossip. Yes, I know that people are drawn to the trash-talker in the office, but it’s not a good way to get respect. They’ll never trust you or consider you a confidante. Keep what you think you know to yourself. You might discover that the gossip is untrue, and that will only make you look worse in the long run. By the same token, turn around and go the other way when others start chewing the fat.

Competitive professionals have a habit of giving people credit and acknowledging their accomplishments. When a team member provided the perfect line to accomplish your goals, make sure the boss knows. When someone who works for you has a fabulous idea, tell your supervisor where it came from.

They practice soft skills that go beyond actions. They use polite language. I know that people are becoming desensitised to foul language and harsh comments, but that is still no excuse to resort to it. Being polite might not have the shock effect, but it won’t have people covering their children’s ears when they see you coming.

They make you feel that there are in the moment. Put your cellphone in your pocket or handbag and pay attention to the person you are with. Ideally, you should turn off your phone or put it on silent. However, if you need to have it on in case of an emergency, let the person you are with know.

Apart from the above manners I have observed being practiced by some of the country’s thought leaders, you can go an extra mile in trying to position yourself as a polite professional. Try being on time every day, show generosity by giving good tips and constructive feedback.

Another cutting edge skill to win people’s attention is to have an open body posture. In other words, don’t cross your legs unnecessarily or fold your arms and look down when you are talking to someone. Do not stare but maintain eye contact, I know the two acts confuse a lot of people when engaged in a conversation. Finally, dress appropriately. Some experts say dress for success, while others believe in dressing to impress either way, your attire should help you convey a positive message to people.

I am not sure how many days, weeks or months it will take for you to master these basic soft skills, but if you aspire to be a respected and competitive authority in your profession then it will be wise to follow the tips above. You’ll be ahead of most people.This can make the difference between you and someone who is less polite winning a sought after job promotion. It can also earn you a permanent spot on a host’s guest list.

 Justice Simango is a Business Etiquette and Grooming Consultant who writes in his own capacity. He is a member of Toastmasters International. Feedback: [email protected]