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Justice Simango

Everyone has found him or herself involved in a fun and interesting conversation that all of a sudden turns to be awkward and uncomfortable. We begin to feel agitated and sometimes we are forced to react in a manner that will make you regret why you were engaged in that conversation.

There are ways to change the subject and gently guide the discussion back to something that is more appropriate without embarrassing the other person.

However, that’s not always possible when you’re dealing with someone who can’t take a subtle hint.

One of the best ways commonly used by politicians to change the subject in discussion is to acknowledge and then redirect the conversation.  There are quite a number of politicians whom we have seen or listened to speaking on different platforms and they acknowledge and redirect a conversation to suit their interests.

Now, if you are not a politician, there are various polite ways you can use to redirect an awkward discussion with your supervisor, parents, teacher or friends. After all, not all people research and prepare questions for you to feel uncomfortable, sometimes, they will not be aware that they are making you feel awkward, why not give them a hint.

When someone brings up a topic that can cause an argument at a party, you may want to say something like, “There are quite a few different opinions on that issue. Why don’t we discuss something more pleasant, like your last trip to the Victoria Falls?”

My home boys have a silly tendency of mentioning my ex-girlfriend who left me heartbroken a few years back and in response, I smile and say, “That was a difficult breakup gentleman, but it has given me the opportunity to meet other interesting people who enjoy dancing as much as I do. Have you guys tried the gwara-gwara dance?”

When a person reminds you of the fact that you didn’t get the job you were hoping for, you can politely say, “Yes, I was disappointed, but the interview process gave me a better idea of what I need to consider when applying for other jobs.”

A lot of uncomfortable talk is overheard along the corridors of our workplaces especially when male colleagues pass an inappropriate comment to a lady about something she is putting on. Most of you know what I am talking about, and I discovered, these men lack grooming. In as much as etiquette experts encourage courtesy comments, let’s use appropriate diction in professional settings.

If you are one of those ladies who receive awkward comments, try complimenting the sender on his knowledge of women’s fashion and quickly redirect the topic and ask him what he thinks about this season’s menswear or any other appropriate topic that suits the environment. Remember, there is a time and place for every conversation.

We have conversations that go from interesting and fun to miserable because sometimes people start talking about things you’re not interested in or know nothing about, and you don’t have anything to contribute. A one-sided conversation can become quite uncomfortable, but, professionals never run out of choices. You may listen to them drone on and on, or you can look for an opening to move to something else. Listen for a word or phrase that provides an opportunity to switch gears.

If a person starts discussing the trend of cold-shoulder tops in fashion, and the latest styles don’t interest you, say something like, “Speaking of cold shoulders, can you believe how quickly the temperature changed in one day?” Then you may continue discussing the weather. When your friends can’t stop talking about Barcelona versus Mamelodi Sundowns and it bores you to tears, as soon as they mention Lionel Messi, you might want to mention that Lionel is your favorite name. Then talk about why you like the name Lionel and how it brings back fond memories of your fun cousin and how much you miss him.

When your medical folks get carried away discussing body fluids, broken bones, and other topics that can make most people cringe, as soon as one of them says the word “stitches,” say something like, “Speaking of stitches, have you seen the latest standup comedy on Netflix? It was so funny, it left us in stitches.”

Another way to deal with a subject that you don’t want to discuss is to wait for a person to catch their breath and change the topic to something that is more agreeable. Most people will take the hint, but if it doesn’t work, try it again. Smile when you do it so the person doesn’t perceive you as being antagonistic or think you’re not a good conversationalist.

When your girls start gossiping about someone who isn’t there, point to an inanimate object and make a comment about how much planning must have gone into it. If a person says she has issues with the company you work for, you can smile and ask if she has any pets, and if so, what they are. She should take the hint that your employer is off limits in this discussion.

However, there are times when we need to excuse ourselves because people can’t take a hint or won’t let go of a topic, no matter how obvious you are with your attempt to change course. These are times when you’ll need to do something more drastic and let them know you prefer to talk about something else.

“I’m sorry, but that topic brings back bad memories and I’d like to talk about something else”.

A message to all those folks who find it difficult to start a conversation, next time, try talking about the weather, popular television and radio shows or best locations for vacations. Good conversation skills will help you make new friends and relationships and learn more from other people.