Role of men in the family in Zim
Men shop for second hand clothes in the central business district of Bulawayo in this file picture

Men shop for second hand clothes in the central business district of Bulawayo in this file picture

Vaidah Mashangwa
THE International Day of Families which is commemorated on May 15 every year reflects the importance the international community places on the family.

The day provides an opportunity to promote awareness on issues relating to families and to increase knowledge of the social, political and economic demographic processes affecting families.

This year’s commemorations were held under the theme “The Role of Men in the Family in Zimbabwe” and highlighted the prevention of family violence through fair family law frameworks.

According to the United Nations, children’s rights have a place in contemporary families, communities, societies and nations.

Society has many different ideas about what the role of men should be in a family set up.

From the Bible, we realise that Adam was created before Eve and he was given the task of naming all the animals, indicating that no other animal or creature was superior to him.

Later, God created Eve from Adam’s rib, signifying oneness and together they formed a family.

For a long time now, gender activists have been clamouring for gender equality in the social, political and economic arena.

The family set up is a crucial area where both parents should assume different roles to ensure that children get the care, support and security they constantly need as they grow up.

Attributes that are associated with manhood include being courageous, a warrior, a provider, a leader, a teacher and being responsible for one’s family.

When God created a woman, He could have made her equal in strength and stature to men but He did not. He gave men the responsibility to protect, care for and to love her.

There are several socially constructed behaviours that distinguish males from females.

Historically, when a man was in a village, children and women would feel secure.

The heroic tales in which men challenged lions and other ferocious animals bear testimony of what is expected of a man in society and at family level.

A real man would be ashamed if he let a woman involve herself in killing a snake, hunt or build a house when he is present and in good health (though in some parts of the country women build houses).

In Timothy 5: 8, Paul teaches that if anyone does not take care of his family he has denied faith. Further, in the biblical text, Adam was responsible and diligent as he exercised dominion on earth and loved his wife (Genesis 2:22-24). All this presents what is expected of an ideal father in the family.

While the man is the head of the family or the central figure, some men have sometimes used their cultural advantages to oppress and subjugate women and children. They decide unilaterally on matters concerning the whole family but this of course differs from family to family.

According to Zimbabwean culture, the survival of the family is dependent on the father.

In the modern context, the father must be responsible for the education and welfare of his children and this is the reason why the government enacted several laws that protect the rights of women and children such as the Legal Age of Majority Act, Matrimonial Causes Act (1987), the Maintenance Amendment Act (1989), the Sexual Offences Act now part of the Criminal Law Codification and Reform Act (2001) among others.

The father should ensure the security of the family and livestock at home. Apart from that, he should ensure that the rules and norms are followed at home by all family members.

It is unfortunate that traditionally, the woman is viewed in the negative sense as she is regarded “sold” at marriage because of the bride price that would have been paid for her.

Some husbands therefore ill-treat and abuse their wives and assume that they have no right to complain. The difficult question is how we determine the commercial value of a person.

In cases where the father-in-law is domineering, the husband and wife have an antagonistic relationship and openly derogate one another.

There are usual threats of separation and divorce, mutual defiance and mistrust. There is need therefore for mutual understanding and good communication between the head of the family and family members.

As children grow up, they should be given more autonomy and their opinions should be considered.

A good father leads by example in both words and deeds.

A good father should set standards and teaches through his actions.

One cannot teach good morals when his behaviour is in disarray.

Besides supporting his family, a man should also contribute to the emotional, spiritual, physical and mental well-being of his family.

The Bible states that a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife (Matthew 9:5-6).

To cleave literally means cemented, glued, adhered to and hence there is need to provide, care and love his wife and children. Apart from that, a man should also provide for the sexual needs of his wife.

Teaching his children is a major responsibility of a father. Most important is to teach them the ways of God. Abraham was commended by God because of the way he led his family. For a father, spending time teaching, guiding, playing and working with his children should be a priority.

When husbands fail to honour their wives, joyfully live with them and cleave to them, they would have failed to honour what God expects from them as fathers.

In addition, when fathers fail to fulfil their responsibilities to their children, they would have neglected a sacred responsibility that can have eternal consequences. A man should be brave, courageous and must face problems, losses, sickness and tragedies with confidence.

A husband and wife should also spend time together no matter how long they have been married so that they understand the needs and interests of the other fully.

With the advent of information communication technologies couples rarely spend time together neither do they share their joys and sorrows.

The relationship between husband and wife should be harmonious and one of mutual love and respect. Children should be comforted by the close and loving relationship they see demonstrated between their parents.

  • Vaidah Mashangwa is the Provincial Development Officer, Ministry of Women Affairs, Gender and Community Development. She can be contacted on 0772 111 592 or via e-mail [email protected].

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