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Fredrick Qaphelani Mabikwa Successful Solutions 
In my last article I was saying that superstition in most black Zimbabwean families has destroyed marriages and continues to destroy marriages. The traditional labelling of the mother-in-law as witch by her daughter-in-law has destroyed many a marriage. The man is torn between his dear wife and his beloved mother and if he fails to handle the problem he can sacrifice either of the two women and either way the marriage suffers.

I want to conclude this article by making a few other observations. The other problem with superstition comes in when the parents of the woman who is supposedly bewitched come in. Half the time it’s the parents who spoil their children’s marriages through poor conflict resolution skills, especially on these superstition issues.

When a daughter in marriage claims to have such a challenge what is the role of her parents in resolving the conflict? Most parents have spoiled the broth for their children by calling their son-in-law and threatening them over what their mother is supposedly doing to their daughter. This is poor conflict resolution skills. And you want the same son-in-law to go and stay in peace with your daughter after that? Superstition is superstition and when people deal with superstition remember it’s superstiton.

The evidence or proof of witchcraft and any other such activities will never be conclusive. That is why the old law had the “Witchcraft Suppression Act” because these things will never be conclusive even in the highest court of law.

Parents need to be cautious when dealing with these issues. They need to have good conflict resolution skills. Skills that will make them build marriages for their children and not destroy them.

Parents need to know the role to play when children “fight” in marriage and they come before them for resolution of the conflict. Parents need to understand that at the end of the day after attempts to resolve conflicts coming out of superstition, the children have to go back and live together.

When children have superstition challenges in their marriage, parents need not take the side of their child and blast the other child over issues that they know nothing about. Such behaviour destroys marriages.Parents must not take sides; both “girl” and “boy” are their children when trying to resolve these conflicts. They must not look at personalities but at the problem.

As I have already indicated in trying to resolve these superstition issues labelling must not be done, threats must not be issued. People should refrain from speaking with authority on superstition. People must guard their tongues when they speak on these sensitive issues. Hate language must be avoided.

When people are not careful they destroy relationships they took a lot of time and effort to make. This is very sad. Let us take that example of a mother-in-law who blasts their son-in-law over the allegations that their mother is bewitching their daughter. This parent destroys two very important relationships. First they damage the relationship between their daughter and her husband and second they damage the relationship between themselves and their son-in-law.

Look at all this destruction caused by poor conflict resolution skills.
Economic challenges have also brought another dimension. People out of desperation will follow anyone who says “come I will make you rich in the name of Jesus”. At times you ask which Jesus? The Jesus I know did not send out messengers to make other people rich, he came to die for our sins on the cross. You find a couple is happy and one of them decides to join a funny religion, church or cult because of the promises to be rich.

Some of these churches/cults have very scaring stories. We hear street talk that in some of these churches/cults you have to kill someone close to get those riches. We hear that some of these young pastors who preach in English have big snakes and all sorts of fetishes. Now these stories are not conclusive but remember there is no smoke without fire. Now in a marriage the other party decides to go to these churches and cults, driven by superstition. The result is a serious fight in the marriage because the other party cannot accept the new religion.

Some couples have failed to handle these fights and the marriages have collapsed. We have seen these big houses without families. We have heard the stories that the man suddenly became rich over night and the wife left. We have heard of goblin riches.

The worst thing with superstition is that it is contagious. Parents pass it on to their children. When this happens you have a whole big family having a family script of superstition. The family is then labelled on this conduct. Some people are afraid of the unknown. Some people see witchcraft in anything. A snake passes through their yard; they go to the “consultants” (prophets and n’angas).

Now what did you want the snake to do — fly over your yard? A dove patches on their roof, they go and consult “what is the dove doing in my yard, after all doves travel in pairs?”.

Their car is constantly breaking down because of lack of service; they go and consult, even for a puncture they will consult. Now how do our marriages survive when we see witches in every facet of our lives?

I believe the spirit world exisits. I believe all the evil, perpetrated also through the devil who rebelled from God’s Kingdom exists. People have all sorts of ways to deal with the spirit world in their various cultures and traditions.

All I was saying in this article is that let us not let superstition destroy our marriages. When a family has this challenge it must be handled very carefully so that relationships are not sacrificed. I repeat superstition is superstition and when people deal with superstition remember it’s superstition, the issues will never be conclusive.

Would you rather destroy good relationships because of the fear of the unknown and of unfounded allegations? May I urge young ladies going into marriage, to go with a view and mind of building a very good relationship with their mothers-in-law. If you go into a marriage expecting a “witch” for a mother-in-law you will indeed find a witch, because that is what you have told yourself.

Such is the power of the word and mind. Many marriages are suffering today because of superstition. Some people have been enslaved by superstition. No one can liberate you from the bond of superstition except yourself.

Most of these things exist in the mind. At times you just have to tell yourself that “this cannot happen to me in the name of Jesus.” That’s how some believers have survived superstition.