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Vaidah Mashangwa
ADDICTION to drugs, alcohol and smoking began when individuals started taking them just to try them but eventually found out that it was not as easy to quit or stop a nurtured habit.It never dawned on me that one day I would come across other addictive behaviours such as addiction to the internet, food, television, shopping, sex, cellphone and so on. Such new addictions have sprouted due to technology and civilisation.

Food addiction is when people just eat whether they are hungry or not! Usually it is caused by an anxiety and is more frequent in girls.
In terms of television addiction, it is estimated that in Spain, children spend more time on television than they do at school. The side effects include obesity, an increase in cholesterol, spinal deformation, night terrors, low sensibility and so on. Parents should actually use watching TV as bait for a reward when children complete their homework.

Shopping addiction or compulsive shopping on the other hand involves an unplanned spending behaviour. This behaviour is more frequent in women who continue to shop for cosmetics, clothes, handbags and other related items not necessarily out of the need but just that feeling or urge to buy and buy. This usually leads to financial and  family problems because this is usually self-centred.

There are other types of addiction such as addiction to chocolate, chewing gums, violence, noise, the list is not exhaustive. Some people get so used to chewing a gum that they do it in meetings, church and even when conversing with other people.

No matter what type the addiction is, the bottom line is that such individuals lose control of that behaviour and tend to identify themselves with the behaviour.

Rape, incest, indecent assault and sexual harassment at the workplace are all a result of sex addiction. The book “Free from Addictions” clearly outlines that sex addiction is just as bad as any other type of addiction.

With the ever increasing statistics of sexual abuse cases, sex is now regarded by many as a consumer object which can be practised willy-nilly well before marriage. Sex is no longer a preserve for married couples. Anyone no matter how young can still engage in sexual relationships without any feeling of guilt and shame.

The Bible, in the book of Genesis 1 vs 28, does not condemn sex but only the perversion of abuse of sex. The book of Genesis affirms its value in procreation and also in the profound union of the couple. The apostle Paul also points out to the necessity of sufficient carnal rapport between husband and wife in 1st Corinthians 5 vs 7.

However, people are now obsessed with sex as if it is now a new creation. Married men are now flirting with married women, fathers are now raping their own daughters and step-daughters and brothers and sisters alike are doing the same. It is as if sex is a new creation that was never there before.

An excessive fondness of sex is the threshold of sex addiction. This is known as sexopathy in women and satyriasis in men. Sex addiction is more common in men than in women and that is the reason why they go on raping women and young women and girl children.

A sex addict is a person who has lost control of his sex drive or practice. According to the book “Free from Addictions,” such people are not happy if they do not masturbate every day, resort to pornography or if they do not have multiple sexual partners. Here, at times there is no need of any relationship but just the fulfilment of sexual desires. This has also created serial rapists.

According to the World Health Organisation (WHO) 2003, 90 percent of teenagers have kissed; some 79 percent have partaken in passionate kisses, 72 percent in fondling above the waist and 54 percent below the waist. Apart from that about 9 percent of 12-year-olds, 23 percent of 14 -year-olds, 42 percent of 16-year-olds and 71 percent percent of 18-year-olds are sexually active. This shows the gravity of the issue at hand.

Music, cinema, television have also contributed much to this sex revolution. The popular music and musical videos that the youths listen to and watch are characterised by erotic and lustful contents. At times these youth and teenagers are left with no choice but to put this into practical action.

The movies on television depict the same scenario as more than 20,000 implicit sexual depictions are televised every year especially in the United States. A different approach was going to benefit the teenagers if in the end teenage pregnancy and the transmission of HIV/AIDS was shown as an end product.

It is estimated that on average teenagers watch over 14,000 direct or indirect references of a sexual nature every year on television.  Due to peer pressure in the end those who do not engage in sexual relationships are labelled stupid and unintelligent.

Sex addicts have a problem in the end to remain faithful to their own stable partners. They turn other people into sexual objects, they are liars and deceitful, they have chaotic schedules and expenditure and in the end they can contract STI, HIV/AIDS and can create suicidal tendencies.

Fidelity in everyday marriage life depends on being honest in every marital life and at times there is a need to keep the couples circle closed. Usually infidelity is a result of complaints of a couple against the other partner. Above all there is a need to keep sexuality in good shape. Infidelity is higher when couples are not satisfied sexually. There is need to know the need of one’s partner and to explore new forms of relationship.

Sex education in schools too focuses mainly on the anatomic physiological information rather than on important information on the moral and emotional side which helps shape the character of an individual.

Vaidah Mashangwa, Provincial Development Officer for Bulawayo in the Ministry of Women Affairs, Gender and Community Development. She can be contacted on 0772 111 592, email: [email protected].