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Leonard Ncube, Victoria Falls Reporter
WILL it be fifth time lucky?

An ambitious Victoria Falls resident who uses a wheelchair, Ms Senzeni Precious Ndlovu (35), is set to tie the knot with the love of her love.

After 12 years of heartbreak with four able-bodied men, Ms Ndlovu is proud to have maintained her purity. She says past partners abused her love, twisted it for selfish and abusive gains seeking to defile her.

She was born on March 15, 1985 with ostrogenesis infecto, a condition where one’s bones will be soft. Both her legs twisted to the back with no heels and she underwent surgical operations to insert callipers.

Ms Ndlovu did Grade One to Three at KGVI in Bulawayo between 1991 and 1993 with the help of the Social Welfare and returned to Victoria Falls where her father worked to do Grades Four and Five at Chinotimba Primary School.

She dropped out of school in 1995 while still in Grade Five after her father, the late Mr Benedict Ndlovu lost his job.

She says life became “unbearable.”

A determined Ms Ndlovu started corresponding for Form One at the age of 27 in 2012 and wrote her Ordinary Level in 2015 and is grateful to former Wild Horizons boss Mr Bruno de Leo, former Victoria Falls Mayor Mr Sifiso Mpofu, former Hwange West MP Mr Bekithemba Mpofu and Shearwater Adventures who paid examination fees and private teachers.

Being the only child out of the late Mr Ndlovu and Ms Senelisiwe Sibanda’s short marriage, Ms Ndlovu thought life was beginning to shape up after getting financial assistance to realise her dream in education.

Her parents separated when she was still an infant after gruelling domestic violence, characterised by fights and counter accusations as both could not accept her condition.

Her father, who was working at a butchery in the resort town, took custody of her until 1996 when he lost his job after fracturing his leg in a social soccer match and she went to stay with her maternal uncles in Binga.

Ms Ndlovu returned to Victoria Falls in 2008 and recounts four heartbreaks she has had, caused by able-bodied men. She said she later realised they only wanted to sleep with her.

As the old adage goes that love is blind, Ms Ndlovu saw herself in four relationships with able-bodied men in 11 years and all left her because she refused to sleep with them.

While it might not be unusual for one to have many relationships in their lifetime, Ms Ndlovu feels her situation is different as, at 35, she has kept her purity and is preparing to get married to the love of her life, Mr Bukhosi Mnkandla.

Mr Mnkandla is also disabled and they met last year and fell in love.

Ms Ndlovu bemoaned societal stereotypes against people living with disability and accused her four former lovers of trying to take advantage of her.

“Life is difficult if you have disabilities because some people mock you while others want to use you and then dump you. I thank God for giving me wisdom to be careful with life. I could be a single mother or dead by now if I had not been careful.

“I was 24 when I had my first boyfriend. Being in a relationship as a person with disability is difficult and painful. I have had heartbreaks with able-bodied men hence my decision to settle for one with a disability,” she said.

Ms Ndlovu said they have been dating for two years and were planning to get married.

“Those able-bodied men I have dated only wanted sex and they left when I refused. My first relationship lasted for three years and we broke up after he failed to sleep with me. He said he wouldn’t buy anything from a shop without first checking its condition and that put me off. I dated this other guy who moved to South Africa and he also left for similar reasons. I had another one here in Victoria Falls. He loved me and would visit most of the time. The problem with him was that he was a womaniser and I feared he would infect me with sexually-transmitted diseases if I continued with him. He would beg to take me out and I was afraid of being trapped. We eventually broke up but he sometimes comes back claiming he still loves me and begging for us to reconcile. He is now married and claims he is prepared to leave his wife for me but I have told him I’m not a home wrecker and I have moved on too,” said Ms Ndlovu.

She said another of her ex-boyfriends has also been begging her to take him back as he accuses her of cursing him because he has divorced twice after their break-up.

Ms Ndlovu said there were myths about people living with disability which some men believed.

“They come pretending to love and care for you. When they see that you are not interested in sex they then disappear. Most men believe having sex with a disabled woman brings luck while others believe they get cured of whatever ailments they will be having. Others just take advantage of your desperate situation and disappear after sleeping with you. A significant percentage of able-bodied men are after sex and are driven by some myths and only a few are genuine when it comes to love affairs with disabled women,” she said.

She said there were also stereotypes as some members of society believe people with disability cannot give birth.

Ms Ndlovu said some families were also against their relatives having affairs with disabled people hence the need for advocacy especially in schools.

“We need advocacy. Disability issues should be taught in school from infancy the same way HIV and Aids and other conditions are taught so that children grow up knowing that disability is a normal condition. This will prevent situations where children are shocked or laugh when they see a disabled person,” she said.

Ms Ndlovu said her heart bleeds seeing young girls, especially living with disability being abused by men or dropping out of school due to pregnancy resulting in high number of orphans and street children.

She said education can empower the girl child and emancipate her from the ills of society as well as capacitate her to be able to identify abuse.

Ms Ndlovu said the Covid-19 pandemic affected her plans as she was working on establishing a hairdressing training centre for school drop-outs and young women in Victoria Falls. — @ncubeleon