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More and more mixed marriages have been and are being recorded globally due to globalisation

Vaidah Mashangwa
Any marriage involving extreme differences is a mixed marriage and this usually applies to differences in race, religion and nationality. While young women and men have a choice to marry whoever they want, family opposition becomes apparent when a son or daughter chooses to marry a person of a different race, religion or nationality.

The more the two families are alike in beliefs, values, educational level and other characteristics the greater the chance of the success of that marriage.

There are a number of reasons why people may enter into mixed marriages.
First, some people may want increased status be it real or imaged. Second, some people might have failed to find a satisfying heterosexual relationship within their own groupings. In addition, some are forced into mixed marriages by pregnancy. Rebellion against one’s own family and its social values may force someone to enter into a mixed marriage.

Marrying someone from a different background requires effort and understanding and it solely depends on the individuals concerned and their families. All couples experience all kinds of marital problems but this intensifies if couples are of a different background.

Due to globalisation and mobility more and more mixed marriages have been and are being recorded globally. Boris Becker’s attachment to his wife Barbara Feltus was highly criticised in the tabloids and ended in divorce. The recent relationship between Pokello and her Nigerian suitor Elikem was highly publicised too.

The main reason why families especially parents at times criticise such marriages is that it is a departure from family norms and values. Generally all families value their own ideas, tradition, lifestyles and they feel these have to be perpetuated in the lives of their children.

When opposition of mixed marriages arise it is not one-sided as both parental families may oppose dating of their children. The orthodox Jewish boy for example is not allowed to marry anyone outside his faith and culture. In the event Jewish boy being defiant, he maybe disinherited or rejected by his parents and the rabbi may not bless his marriage. Groups such as Filipinos, Koreans, Puerto Ricans and Chinese tend to remain loyal to their culture and marry within their racial groupings.

It is also extremely difficult for white and black families to accept dating of their children. Of course there are quite a number of Blacks who are married to Whites. At times even if the two families might be having a lot in common such as businesses, same church, professionalism there is still bound to be opposition.

According to research, in Black and White marriages the male is more often Black and the marriages mostly involve prior divorce for both partners. In such instances the female is usually foreign-born or of a foreign parentage and they are older than the average age at marriage.

Data available on interracial marriages indicate that such marriages are terminated much sooner than interracial marriages. Black-White marriages are terminated sooner than all other types of mixed racial marriages. A study scoring hundred for very happy marriages between whites and blacks rated their happiness at 62 percent and one third of the couples had no children due to fear of discrimination of the children as they grow.

According to research, religion plays a crucial role in terms of sustenance of a mixed marriage. Catholics and Jews expressed less willingness than Protestants to change to the religion of the spouse if they intermarry. There was also a higher divorce rate among couples who married across religious lines than among non-mixed marriages .In cases of a mixed marriage where husband and wife continue with their religion a higher divorce rate was recorded.

According to a study conducted where both parents were Catholics, the divorce rate was lowest, with only 4,4 percent of the marriages ending in divorce. If both couples were Protestants, six percent ended in divorce. Where neither partners claimed any religious faith, 17,9 percent ended in divorce. Where the husband was Catholic and the wife Protestant, 20,6 percent of the marriages ended in divorce.

Where the wife is Catholic and the father Protestant there was a lower divorce rate because the woman is usually reluctant to seek divorce.

Most conflicts arising in mixed marriages include conflict over the religion the children will follow and the influence of the in-laws in this regard. The other critical area of conflict is the size of the family and the spacing of children. In other instances, some of the children end up going to church with the father and some with the mother to different churches altogether. This brings serious divisions in the family thereby creating a possibility of divorce.

The educational background of a couple also plays a greater role in terms of the success of a mixed marriage. The same amount of education is favourable to good adjustment in marriage according to the book, Building a Successful Marriage. A university graduate is likely to also marry a university graduate as their views points, values and goals in life are generally similar.

While there seems an increase in mixed marriages, this requires a considerable amount of adjustment, tolerance and understanding as many factors are at play that may hinder the success of such marriages.

•    The writer is Vaidah Mashangwa Provincial Development Officer Ministry of Women Affairs Gender and Community Development. She can be contacted on: 0772111592 or email [email protected]