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Gender, Bongiwe Nkomazana

TODAY we go back to basics. We will talk about sexism and how it is a modern day evil ladies and gentlemen. Sexism is the prejudice or discrimination based on a person’s sex or gender. 

Sexism can affect anyone, but it primarily affects women and girls. It has been linked to stereotypes and gender roles, and may include the belief that one sex or gender is intrinsically superior to another. I could close the article right here because this description pretty much sums it all up. 

The real problem in any dynamic is when one party believes in it in their head that they are better than the other and goes on to act superior towards that party. It could have been okay in the past but not in this modern day society, with all her revolutions in human and women rights.

I always say that I could not care less if a person is racist towards me or just hates me but keeps it in their minds because at that stage whatever is going on in their heads is their business and their problem. It becomes an issue to my life when that person begins to act out their racism or hatred by being disrespectful to me or by causing physical harm on me. We know that both men and women have different beliefs when it comes to which sex is better than the other. 

We base this on religion, tradition or on science. For example, some will say that because the Bible states that Adam was created first and Eve was made from his rib, men are superior and some will come forth and say that only a superior gender can carry a whole human being for months and birth it through the tiniest of canals.

We are all allowed to think whatever we want to and no matter the strides that have been made towards gender equality, we are very far from truly getting everyone on the same page when it comes to the issue. However, what is absolutely unacceptable is letting our beliefs bring all sorts of prejudice or discrimination to any group of people. 

Sexism is responsible for a lot of the challenges that girls and women go through. 

We have girls in the remote parts of Zimbabwe who are pulled out of school yet their brothers are kept in school because they are a better ‘‘investment’’. That is sexism. 

We still have women who are denied corporate advancement because they are thought to have maternal and emotional baggage yet their male counterparts with equivalent qualifications are granted those opportunities. That is sexism. We still have societies that will brutally victimise women for what they wear and judge them for saying things that are not to be said by a good woman. It is all sexism. 

Sexism causes violence. I said earlier that as long as someone keeps their superiority complex within themselves, life goes on. Unfortunately, that is almost never the case. It spills out. Researchers say when people think they are superior, they tend to be extremely unpleasant. In particular, they tend to be extremely unpleasant towards whoever they think is inferior. 

Now, we see the manifestation of this unpleasantness everyday in the form of rape, domestic abuse and in the policies that restrict women from being completely free while they protect the criminals behind this violence. Ever heard of how when a female is raped, focus shifts to how she provoked the situation by what she was wearing, what time of day she was out and the location she was in. 

This is the worst kind of benevolent sexism because it feeds into the stereotypes of men being naturally lustful and weak at controlling those feelings. It all of a sudden becomes a case of women, dress more appropriately and be in the house by midday so that you do not entice men versus telling men that they are accountable for their actions and should learn to keep it in their pants.

Is it then not safe to say that sexism is not just bad for women, but for democracy too? Surely, if rights are going to be infringed and all sorts of harassment takes place due to one gender (females) being perceived as inferior, democracy is compromised. 

What is heartbreaking is that we have people who will try and justify sexism living and walking among us and they take us a gazillion steps back. First of all, patriarchy is dead. It just does not make sense in today’s context. 

Women really do not need protection from lions anymore; we have gates, alarm systems and the wildlife department. There’s no need to hunt, we have supermarkets and we do not have to walk long distances because we have cars. Women can pretty much do whatever men can do today in terms of occupations, providing for their families and surviving. Hence, that “we are better because we are stronger” justification is done and dusted.

Sexism therefore cannot exist in modern relationships, friendships and romantic ones alike. Imagine being with a man who has it entrenched in his being that as a woman you are less than he is. Sooner or later, he will start calling you stupid because he really believes you are. 

It will never work. Similarly in friendships, we as women do not want to be the ones who are washing dishes and preparing the meals all the time in social settings because we do not have beards and wide chests whilst the ones with beards and broad shoulders laugh and drink and basically enjoy themselves. No.

It goes without a doubt that we are all sexist on different levels because some things have been repeated in history so much we believe they are true. The only way to fix ourselves is to try and control our assumptions. 

The moment you start to notice that even just your thoughts are becoming sexist put effort in reminding yourself that that is not who you are trying to be. 

Remember that our gender differences do not make us superior or inferior; they just make it easier for us to tick which sex we belong to on those questionnaires and surveys, that’s all.