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Ashley Phiri, [email protected] 

A wave of sorrow has washed over the Bulawayo community following the tragic suicides of two friends, Khumbulani Dube and Nqobizitha Sibanda. 

Their untimely deaths, linked to marital struggles, have highlighted the silent suffering endured by many men who often feel unable to seek help. Both men allegedly faced infidelity and domestic abuse within their marriages. 

Khumbulani Dube was found dead at his home after allegedly consuming poison. Friends and family reveal that Dube had been suffering for months, feeling trapped in a marriage marred by his wife’s demanding behaviour and alleged infidelity. 

Mental Voices Trust founder and Khumbulani’s employer for the past 26 years, Ms Sipho Mazibuko, described Dube as a kind-hearted individual who loved his wife but had been silently going through a hard time at home.

“Khumbu committed suicide on Monday after he could no longer take his wife of more than 20 years’ infidelity. He told me that his wife was saying her boyfriend is better in bed. I honestly don’t know how things changed because they were initially so in love. After the wife started cheating, she would come to work and insult Khumbu, humiliating him in front of everyone. 

“To make the situation worse, she also turned the children against their father.

“I do not know for how long this had been going on, but he only opened up three days before he died. He called me and told me all about it and I was in the process of organising counselling for him under Mental Voices because we deal with issues like these. I was supposed to go and get him for treatment when I received the phone call that he had passed away. This is very sad, but men are going through a lot emotionally and I would want to encourage them to seek help, there is no shame in that,” she said.

Nqobizitha Sibanda was found hanging from a tree at Nyamande Primary School in Old Lobengula near his home, a day after his friend Khumbu committed suicide. 

His suicide came shortly after he learned that the child he believed to be his might not actually be his biological offspring.

One of Nqobizitha’s neighbours, who requested anonymity, said his wife’s lover came to claim the child that Nqobizitha believed to be his.

“Nqobizitha’s wife had a lover who she used to go out to bars with. All hell broke loose when that lover came to tell Nqobi that the baby he was taking care of was in fact his. The couple had been having problems with the wife not sleeping at home and all, but the evidence of infidelity must have been too much for the man to handle,” he said.

Nqobizitha’s sister, Busisiwe Sibanda, said they were deeply saddened by the untimely loss of her brother who had been very unhappy in his marriage.

“We truly wish that things would have turned out differently. My brother had been in an unhappy marriage and before he committed suicide he had engaged family members to help him solve his marital problems, but learning that the child might not be his must have been too much to handle and it drove him to commit suicide,” she said.

Community members are in shock, struggling to comprehend the loss of two promising lives. Many are calling for greater awareness around mental health issues, particularly among men who may feel pressured to conform to societal expectations of masculinity.

Ironically, the two men committed suicide in November, the month dedicated to raising awareness on men’s health, particularly prostate cancer, testicular cancer, and mental health. 

Experts are calling for men to normalise talking about issues and for society to eliminate the stigma associated with men opening up.