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Andile Tshuma, Gender
H-metro this past week ran a story of a woman who was caught in bed with a 13-year-old boy and in her defence claimed to have used condoms for both their protection. While this is not classified as rape, but aggravated indecent assault, it is unacceptable and shows that the boy child could be just as vulnerable in our communities.

It is unfortunate that not as much noise is made by activists when young boys are sexually abused.

Our society still holds the belief that men are the abusers yet we do have some sick female perverts among us. The H-Metro story is not the first case of sick stories of women engaging in sexual acts with minors.

It is somewhat becoming a norm.

The common stereotype of child sexual abuse is a male figure abusing a little helpless girl and sometimes, but not as much, a man sodomising a little boy. Women are rarely framed as abusers.

The courts have however, dealt with some horrifying cases of female paedophilia, with some boys scared for life after experiencing the worst at the hands of trusted females. Female paedophilia is not talked about much in the country but this does not mean that it is not happening.

Society must recognise the reality that women can and do sexually offend against children. Statistics on female offenders are vague and it is widely believed that women offend at lower rates than men but their increasing numbers cannot be ignored.

Some versions of the H-Metro story claim that the woman was a sex worker and the young boy had “paid” for services. However, a 13-year-old surely does not look like an adult and must never be treated as such.

No matter what her profession is, she must be able to put a child’s interests first and protect him from adult life.

If she could not think of the child’s life, and interest, then she must have considered her own freedom, knowing fully well that a sexual act with her minor could land her in jail.

Just recently, a twitter thread opened a can of worms about the phenomenon when one man decided to speak out about his former baby sitter who used to sexually abuse him as a child. More men came out, some naming and shaming while some did not disclose the identities of their abusers for fear of starting family chaos.

According to the thread, which had a lot of Zimbabwean men also sharing their experiences, most of the abusers were domestic helpers who were left to take care of little boys when mums were at work. Some of the abusers were pre-school teachers, some were aunts, neighbours, family friends, the list is endless.

The thread just went on to show that it’s not only girls that are vulnerable to abuse as boys are also vulnerable and often are not empowered enough or taught to speak out about abuse.

There isn’t much research on female paedophilia in the country. What’s closest is a paper published in the early 2000s on the subject, which still remains relevant to this day.

Cases of abusive women reported in the past decade have confirmed that women have the capacity to engage in sexual offences against children.

Bulawayo police spokesperson Inspector Abednico Ncube in an interview on child abuse issues in the city, said while cases involving female offenders were not as prevalent, parents had to be careful as a number of domestic helpers and other care givers had been convicted of abusing boys.

“Society has a tendency of thinking that young boys are safe from abuse but the truth is that it is not only girls who are vulnerable and as police we implore parents to be vigilant and to ensure that their children are safe always. They should constantly engage in conversations with their children to find out how they are being taken care of by people who babysit them. A lot can come out from that. Boys are not immune to abuse as they can also be abused by both women and men,” said Insp Ncube.

This publication has reported many cases of sexual abuse perpetrated by women who are either family friends, helpers, relatives or teachers.

Most of the abuses have taken place at domestic set ups, which may be thought to be a safe space.

A few reported cases could just be a tip of the iceberg as many boys, due to their socialisation, generally do not open up, and often, parents may not pay much attention to such, in a manner they would pay attention to the welfare of the girl.

According to psychology experts, the number of women who sexually abuse children could be much higher than the reported cases. Reasons for few cases being reported is that the victims are usually reluctant to come forward because of fear that their experience will not be viewed as abuse.

Some women have been reported to be in the habit of grooming young boys and then later establishing sexual relations with them. This has been prevalent especially in some all-boys schools where female teachers have been reported to be overly friendly and later establishing intimate relations with pupils.

What is unfortunate is that some people tend to assume that these sexual advances on boys are welcome.

There is a need for a change of mindset and admit that boys can also be victims of sexual abuse. Such acts by female teachers could be sowing the seeds of abusive behaviours and what these female sex predators should appreciate is that they could be grooming monsters that will grow to abuse little girls soon.

Dear parents, if any man is a potential abuser to your precious little girl, it is high time you see every woman as a potential abuser to your boys and your girls too.

A lot of horrific things happen to children and it takes so long for them to come out in the open because the parents or guardians would be just too trusting.

It is also high time that communities come to the realisation that not all women are saints and that they are potential abusers too. The stereotyping of potential abusers must stop too.

Victims of abuse by women must also be given the same recognition as those abused by men.

To maintain the status quo of public perception and practice would be to do an unforgivable injustice to victims. Boys are victims too. Let it sink and let’s do something about it. — @andile_tshuma