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Mbuso Ndhlovu – [email protected]

DEATH is a certainty. Once we are born and spend minutes, hours or indeed years gallivanting on this earth, what is left is for us to graduate to another level. Whether it is a higher or lower level is neither here nor there.

A short visit to the world-acclaimed Zimbabwe International Trade Fair (ZITF) held in Bulawayo recently was an eye opener. Probably a shocker.

While death is inevitable most of us are not really prepared for it. We might comfort ourselves with burial society membership or even funeral policies. Yet we are not fully covered.

Abroad our kith and kin have evolved a marvelous yet demeaning way of funding repatriation of bodies and related funeral expenses. Whenever social media sends a go-fund-me request it is almost always about a funeral although it can also be for any pressing need like medical or educational emergencies. In this instance anybody willing to donate money to a cause sends it to the supplied bank details so that the funds can be donated to assist those in need. It may even be used to cover the needs of those left behind especially children. In some instances the money is used to pay for medical bills of the departed. Yes, when one dies in hospital it does not mean the bills will evaporate. They still have to be fully paid. It is like taking a car to a mechanic and paying for their services even though they will have failed to repair it. Labour charges are paid upfront.

Funeral costs are some of the highest once off payment we have to bear hence the need for funeral insurance. But is it enough? Are we really covered?

On exhibition at ZITF were various funeral products. What caught many people’s eyes was a luxury car coffin by a leading funeral services company. A Mercedes Benz replica, the car coffin costs an eye-popping US$5 300. Added to that will be a limousine for relatives of the dear departed and a Mercedes Benz hearse for the coffin at US$400.

Such an amount can buy a real car albeit not a new Mercedes Benz. It is more than enough to pay for a high density residential stand in a city or two elsewhere.

It does not end there. The funeral services companies have pulled all the plugs. Mobile toilets for male and female, mobile shower cubicles for men and women, camping tents of various sizes, generator powered tower lights and decor such as candles, tables and picture frames complete the package for a luxurious send off.

While it appears to be over the top for now, in a few years time this would be a standard funeral. Who thought that filming a funeral service would be acceptable one day? But here we are, it is a basic requirement now. At one time nobody ever thought we would have people carving a career as professional mourners but many people are making a living that way. Men and women are hired to loudly cry and throw themselves on the ground, rolling at appropriate intervals, complete with tears and mucus, especially when a relative arrives. Those who pay for such services may not be able to physically attend as they are abroad but they want to view a proper funeral on video with all the natural sounds.

Given the costs of covering a decent burial the question arises, how many of us are prepared for the eventuality?

Gofundme is as a result of people not prepared while living for now. Is it because nobody really wants to dwell on death yet we all know each day we go through is only one step towards the grave.

Old men and women, some clearly unable to afford the car coffin, thronged the pavilion for photos with one man even requesting to lie in it for a photograph. He was turned down probably because clearance from authorities would be needed or they did not want to clean after him.

It is amazing how we are so engrossed in how we will depart this planet at the expense of medical insurance. Almost everybody has some form of funeral insurance, including gofundme for relatives, some of whom will have been boasting that nobody has ever failed to be buried. Friends and relatives will always conjure up something but when one is ill very few donate towards medical expenses.

Is life all about death? Must we work our socks off just to finance our funerals instead of enjoying life? It seems many people spend all their lives preparing for an expensive burial instead of living life to the fullest. Paul Miklas: “Everyone can have a luxury life. It’s a state of mind. It’s not necessarily about having the biggest house. It’s about living life to the fullest.”

It is almost certain that funeral insurance will not be enough to cover some funeral costs. Undertakers are encouraging members to convert their policies to US dollar denominated cover. But paying more than US$5 000 for a funeral? Burying a whole fortune. Turning US$5 000 into compost?

To make matters worse the funeral service providers do not cater for those who prefer to be cremated. All their products are geared towards burial.

If one wants cremation the relatives will have to make a claim for services in monetary terms and then use the money to pay for cremation. Is it not that we pay these companies to ease the burden on our relatives who will be in distress? The companies are supposed to bear the burden of transporting the body to a mortuary, prepare it for burial, do all the paper work provide money for food and airtime, provide transport, hearse, tent and even toilets, showers and lights.

As it is expecting relatives to process cremation requirements is unfair. Funeral services companies must move with the times and offer a cremation option which they will fully process. Of course for business cremation is not attractive but they could offset the losses by charging the usual premiums and then make profit from interest. As it is when they pay in cash where services are not needed, they do not make losses as they will have made more than enough in interest in investments elsewhere.

In any case cremation is cheaper than burial and must be vigorously encouraged as land for graves is fast running out. In many countries, including Zimbabwe, old graves are destroyed and houses, mines, dams or schools are built. In rural areas it is known that once a precious mineral has been discovered or a growth point has to grow the whole village is relocated. The graves are then destroyed together with the expensive tombstones. So why does it appear like the funeral services providers are not keen to push for cremation? Is it because it eliminates the need for the expensive caskets and graves. They will still make money for services such as mortuary, transport, basic coffin to the crematorium and the money spinning insurance premiums, after all nobody knows when they will die. Business ethics call for a review of funeral services attitudes by both the provider and consumer. As we all know the consumer gets the short end of the stick at all times. Otherwise as communities we might have to continue to guilt-trip each other as we kick in for those who kick the bucket.