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Tsungai Chekerwa-Machokoto
I have a little sister who is absolutely amazing! She is beautiful, smart and wise.

Yes, she made me write these words when I asked her for a favour recently.

They are curious people, siblings. You don’t get a choice but to love them because if you don’t your parents will give you a beating you will never forget and then you resent your sibling for getting you that beating…

But if anyone messes with them, you will give them a beating they will never forget because they are your sibling and only you get to mess with them.

Also, if anything happens to them, said parents will bless you with another beat-down of note.

What does any of this have to do with gender parity? Well, everything and nothing.

I grew up with two sisters and a brother: all of them younger than me.

It was my responsibility to make sure that these kids behaved when we were in public and at home.

I was responsible for their safety, and I had to make sure their chores were done, and I had to make sure they did not go home crying.

I had to make sure they shared with each other and with other kids, and they played well with other children. Such a huge responsibility placed on the shoulders of the oldest kid, regardless of what sex they are.

In our home, there were no ‘boy duties and girl duties’. We all played a part in the running of the house. The boy learned to cook and clean and the girls changed light bulbs and fixed door handles. At our Aunt Gladys’ house, she had four sons and they did everything we did.

When they came over to our house, they didn’t make us do dishes because we were girls. And we didn’t make them do the gardening because they were boys.

They didn’t get to sit around while the girls cleaned up after them.

Our parents made sure that we knew that it takes both boys and girls doing what needs to be done to keep a home running smoothly.
That implies our parents had feminist tendencies, not because they had three daughters; but because as a teacher and a pastor, they knew the importance of raising people who will add value in whatever scenario they find themselves in.

Assuming this is the situation in most homes with children, I would like to ask where the concept of gender comes in.

Why is it so important to delineate the roles based on sexual assignment? If at the foundation level in life we are all the same, where do the differences come in?

When do we start teaching boys that they are more important than girls, or that they are worth more?

When, after four years of university, two years attachment, countless internships, does a boy start being worth more than a girl?  When does a boy become more desirable than a girl in an office job that they both qualify for?

I am seeing an encouraging trend though in the children’s shows that are airing now.
I like how they are tweaking the narrative that promotes boys as the heroes and girls as damsels in distress.

We have male and female pirates in Jake and The Neverland Pirates which highlights that boys and girls can work together to achieve anything they put their minds to.

Then we have the Calisto family in Miles from Tomorrow where the mother is the Captain of their spaceship and the father is the engineer.

This show highlights that people have different strengths and an awareness of those strengths and knowing your weaknesses will allow you to make your best contribution for your team/family/class.
I suppose the point that I am making is that it is not difficult to get to a point where there is equal opportunity for all. It exists in the home; it should be easy enough to transfer that idea to society.

We should ask ourselves where the disconnect happens.

We need to ensure that the goodwill that parents have towards, their children: that desire to have their children become useful, productive members of society needs to spill over to every facet of society if we are going to have a successful society full of people who are committed to making their best contribution to the best of their abilities regardless of their gender, age, race, religious affiliation or any other factor.

 About the writer: Tsungai Chekerwa-Machokoto is a mother, wife and Gender Consultant. She is a final year Law student with UNISA. For feedback you may contact her on email:[email protected], blog: tsungimachokoto.tumblr.com