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Good looks can give one an advantage in some areas of life but they do present a lot of pitfalls. — Online picture

Bongiwe Nkomazana
WHO does not want to be attractive? We spend dollars on dollars on clothes, hair and makeup trying to look our best so that we feel our best. So how, oh how, could there be anything wrong with being attractive? I always say that one can never win in this world because believe it or not, there are a lot of negative pre-conceptions or pre-judgments that are made of women who look beautiful or who take particular care of their outward appearance. Think of one woman whom you feel is gorgeous but have never really gotten to know. What is your impression of them? If you are being totally honest with yourself, you will realise that you probably have not gotten to know them because you think they are unapproachable or conceited or snobbish. They could be, but that is a conclusion you have reached before any conversation whatsoever with that person and that is not fair.

I am surrounded by a lot of beautiful women and they have all expressed how they feel when they have been treated or handled a certain way because of their looks. I mean, yes, their looks have worked in their favour too but it is not all honky dory.

One of them even went as far back to when she was in primary school and the teacher asked them one by one whom their best friend was in preparation for a composition and half of the class said it was her yet she did not even play with most of them.

She believes it was because she was cute and as children you do not realise what is going on but it is only when you think about it as an adult and the same scenario is replaying itself in adult settings that you see how it was a case of “my trophy should be shinier than yours, look at it”.

Even as she grew older, she realised that she was always being put on a pedestal not because she was smart or kind, which she was, but because she was thought to be prettier than her friends. Her guard has always been up when it comes to friends because other girls are trying to get onto the pedestal with her while she can never know whether guys are trying to build a genuine friendship with her or are just on a quest to tap into her beauty. She explained that it is super hard for her to make female friends to this day and she can never just be one of the boys with her male counterparts. I am pretty sure that most of us are already rolling our eyes like this girl should get over herself but this is what some women are going through and it is a real depressing issue for them.

Girls, have you ever been left out of a braai or a party for a reason that is unknown to you. You look at your timeline and see your friends were in Matopos for the weekend. Let me tell you right now, it is because of two reasons. It is either you do not take alcohol or because of your gorgeous exterior.

Beautiful women are usually barred from certain events because their friends feel insecure around them especially if their significant others will be present.

Your true qualities like your love, care and loyalty towards your friends goes out the window and all they can think of is how your beauty is a threat. Sad.

We could all be secretly guilty of hating attractive women for no reason at all. Whether it is at school or work and even at church, there is that group of women that everyone else dislikes. If you ask them why they dislike them only vague responses are given like ah “just” or that “they think they are better than everyone else”. Is that really the case or it is just more baseless speculations?

For example, have you ever observed how people will have the best day, short of popping champagne, when a beautiful lady is not so beautiful on that day?

That is another negative of being beautiful; you are just not allowed to have a bad day. Almost as if you are not human.

The slightest shift of a hair strand and it is pointed out with sirens in the background to prove that you are not so perfect after all. Why do you think tabloids sell out so fast? It is because the world feels better about themselves when what looks like the epitome of perfection is crumbling.

It is also part of the life of an attractive woman to be the victim of nasty rumours. Evil things are said about them all the time and it has become their daily bread to hear the most absurd things about themselves. For example, they will be referred to as an easy hook up and it is worse if a beautiful woman works hard and is successful.

They will be accused of sleeping their way to the top as if they are unable of earning their success just like everyone else. In the line of the workplace, research has shown that beautiful women are not taken seriously at work because their colleagues just assume they are stupid.

Comments alluding to how they must just use their beauty to marry rich guys and be trophy wives are passed and people do not even realise how offending these statements are. As a result, this group of women has to work extra hard to prove their competence.

The most surprising issue I read on about the cons of being a beautiful woman is how hard it is for them to find love. You would think that men would be falling at their feet but it is the contrary.

Men will stare at a gorgeous woman which in itself is a downfall of being beautiful, but they will also not approach her because of number one, those pre-conceived notions of her being full of herself that we talked about earlier and number two, the fact that her beauty may be a problem in the sense that it will attract too much attention from other men and most men do not want a woman who will be sexualised by other men.

Good looks can give one an advantage in some areas in life but they do present a lot of pitfalls. I think the moral of the story is that we should not judge a book by its cover. Face value is never accurate; therefore, we should get to know the people we meet beyond their physical appearance.