Gender: Mothers – Thanking you never gets old

Happy-Mothers-Day
By Tsungai Chekerwa-Machokoto
It is priceless to honour someone when that person is still alive. Many times people wait for their beloved ones to die to show their appreciation and love for them.

As we celebrate Mothers’ Day tomorrow, we should take time to appreciate our mothers’ efforts, love, sacrifices, compassion and care in raising us.

A mother’s love is arguably the most dependable thing in the world. No matter what happens, a mother stays with you through the worst of times.

My interaction with both women and men has enabled me to make inferences on the importance of mothers.

Mothers are our first teachers, our first nutritionists, our first counsellors and first stylists. Our mothers are a gift from God.

It is hard to compare mothers to anyone else. Nature is called Mother Nature because of its motherly characteristics.

As we celebrate Mother’s Day tomorrow, we should spare a thought for our colleagues who lost their mothers. They also treasure the memory and love of their mothers.

We cannot do anything about death but we can reminisce about the special times we shared with our beloved departed mothers.

We can draw many lessons from how they raised us to help turn ourselves into better parents.

Mothers are the authors of sacrifice in my opinion. Rural mothers are especially so: they fetch some water, fetch some firewood that they also cut themselves.

They raise children and run the home on their own while the husbands are in the urban areas working for the family.

Such women perform all the key duties of parenting and run the home yet you never hear them complaining.

They have a ready laugh as they inspire their children to achieve more than they did in life.

The success of these women’s children is their ultimate goal. We salute you today for your golden hearts.

Single mothers, I also salute you. I have the privilege of learning in the same class with two strong women, who have defied all odds in raising their children on their own.

These women are a true inspiration. They work, pay fees for themselves and their children, go through full time classes and yet you see them smiling and meeting their academic demands with zeal, pride and commitment.

I hope their hard work and conduct will inspire young women who might be in similar situations to realise that anything is possible if you apply your mind to it.

Let us not forget housemaids who play an important role raising professional women’s children at the expense of their own.

These women are referred to as “maids” although my mother coached me to call them house helpers because that is what they do – help a family manage their domestic lives.

Without them, domestic functionality can be compromised to a large extent. We appreciate all domestic workers who are also mothers.

Now to housewives. This is the group that I relate to the most. I have been a part of this group for many years.

People do not really realise the amount of work that a housewife does while running her home.

She is always ready with patience and love for her husband and children. She takes her time to help out the children with their homework and follows closely their lives at school.

She picks and drops the children at school and is up to date with all their school activities. Such woman barely have time for themselves but the family.

Yet some wrongly assume they have nothing to do. The full-time housewife goes through life being ridiculed for being a “home-defender” housewife because it is equated with doing nothing.

Years go by and the people that should appreciate her the most jump at every chance to get rid of her. Her whole life revolves around the people that could dump her when they no longer need her.

She is hesitant to take her chances in the world at times because she feels left behind. Life seems to have passed her by while she was busy raising kids that are now all grown up.

We appreciate all your hard work housewives, your confidence pumping presence at school matches and school activities, your knowledge of us that us better than our own and your ever present care

We need to also appreciate adoptive mothers. They are amazing people. They take their role of mother very seriously. Adoptive mothers love abandoned children as their own.

In our conservative Zimbabwe, adoption is not very common but adoptive mothers are not discouraged. Adoptive mothers, you are priceless and I sincerely pray that you all live forever.

Step mothers are also daring and caring women. Yes, there are all kinds of stereotypes and misconceptions about step mothers but that is not what we are celebrating tomorrow.

We will be celebrating step mothers’ courage to step into a life of scrutiny, being challenged and judged harshly. Stepmothers are under suspicion constantly.

Sometimes a man strays out of marriage, makes babies and turns his wife into an instant step-mother. Despite their willingness to raise the out-of-wedlock child as her own, such women are treated with suspicion.

This can be disheartening. For loving a child that is not yours voluntarily, for braving the nasty comments, ridicule, suspicion and scrutiny we really appreciate you. We thank you for being there for your step children.

Mothers living with disabilities deserve special mention. They are the most courageous women I know. They protect their children just like any woman, disregarding their disabilities.

One of my classmates was raised by a blind mother. She says their mother gave them love and guided them throughout life.

Elderly mothers are particularly special to me. My own mother resides in the Diaspora and I go through life with the guidance of these women. These type of mothers go out of their way to give me a hug anytime I need it and to guide my path with the light of their experience.

They laugh with me and cry with me. There are quite a number of women like me who either don’t have parents at all or do not stay with them.

These elderly mothers fill in the gap and love children and grandchildren that are not their own biologically.

I thank you so very much for being there for us, you mean the world to us.

To the women who take in children that are not biologically theirs after death, you are my heroes. These women take orphaned children either directly or indirectly.

They make a home for orphans and nurse them. It is not an easy task to do but they take it up as well and give love to these children.

These women truly are an example of compassion and the world continues to learn this through the years.

Such women are selfless as they share their own children’s resources in order to accommodate the new additions to the families.

They initiate these children into their family traditions so that they are not left out. Such love is heart- melting.

I’m moved sometimes to tears when I think about my own mother. The sacrifices she made for us, the way she glued the family together, the way she pacified me and my siblings.

She made sure that we built a bond that would be hard to undo. She taught us patience and love but she was also the queen of all drama queens and the way she used to overreact really makes me laugh!

I don’t know what I would have done if she hadn’t taught me to bath my baby and how to hold her and just be a mum!

She mothered a lot of other children and literally would house people in our house and what we thought was our space. For all the things she did for my siblings and me, I’m grateful.

I remember when visitors came, we would literally sleep in the kitchen to accommodate them. I thank God for the years He has given us together and if ever I had an opportunity to choose a mother, I would still choose her for myself.
Happy Mother’s Day.

About the writer: Tsungai Chekerwa-Machokoto is a mother, wife and Gender Consultant. She is a final year Law                                        student with UNISA. For feedback contact her on email- [email protected], blog: tsungimachokoto.tumblr.com

You Might Also Like

Comments