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Rev Sarah Nyathi
In order to learn how to have one face and maintain it, we need to study some scriptural examples of men and women who had two faces. Acquainting with these cases will assist us to recognise and avoid these pitfalls.

The first example that comes to mind is Judas, the disciple of Jesus, who would be the most notorious example of a two-faced individual. Though it is common to paint Judas in a very bad light, it is my contention that Judas despite his weakness, undoubtedly loved Jesus Christ as he served him faithfully throughout his three years of earthly ministry. He probably was at one stage a precious and trusted disciple of Jesus Christ.

It is worth noting that he was a close aide who handled the finances of the ministry. I have cause to believe that some disappointment and disillusionment had crept in at some point during the course of their relationship. I note Judas’ discontent, when the woman with the alabaster jar of perfume who wished to express her love for Jesus, washed his feet with the costly perfume.

There was outrage and murmuring around the table as the disciples started complaining about the waste of this costly perfume, whereas she could have used water instead. The general feeling was that the perfume could have been sold and the money put into the treasury and used to feed the poor.

My hunch is that Judas was the instigator of this murmuring as his heart was no longer for Jesus. He no longer possessed the love, commitment and faithfulness that was necessary for the sustenance of the relationship. Sadly, he was dishonest with Jesus as he failed to express his concerns. Failure to communicate honestly is one of the greatest causes of two-facedness. The deepest wounds caused by two-facedness are those inflicted by loved ones who relate closest to us.

Pretence and Deception – Despite Judas divided heart, he continued to walk with Jesus, carry the treasury bag and at the last supper sat closest to Jesus. Yet his heart had long turned and was already set on betraying him. The scriptures state that he negotiated the betrayal deal for the 30 silver pieces and then hung around waiting for an opportunity to complete the task.

Luke 22:3-6: Then Satan entered into Judas called Iscariot, who was of the number of the twelve. He went away and conferred with the chief priests and officers how he might betray him to them. And they were glad, and agreed to give him money. So he consented and sought an opportunity to betray him in the absence of the crowd.

The scriptures would read differently if Judas had taken time to communicate with Jesus and discuss the offence that he harboured in his heart. May all those who desire to have one face watch out for pretense and deception. The scriptures encourage us in Ephesians 4:25 – Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbour, for we are members one of another.

Lack of fortitude – (Fortitude is strength of character in the face of opposition or pain). Peter walked closely with Jesus Christ and was one of the three that accompanied him into the garden of Gethsemane. In my mind, Peter’s love for Jesus was sincere and genuine. Yet despite this, Peter was yet to display dissonance and two faces towards Jesus.

Jesus knew this and took time to warn Peter in Luke 22:31 – 34: “Simon, Simon, behold Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers”. Peter said to him, “Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death”.

Jesus said, “I tell you, Peter, the rooster will not crow this day, until you deny three times that you know me”. Jesus understood that Peter had genuine intentions towards him but was also aware that Peter was weak willed and did not possess courage of conviction. That is the reason why Jesus took time to warn Peter that in a short while he would deny Him thrice. These prophetic words were fulfilled just as Jesus had predicted. Peter soon found himself between a rock and a hard place and could not stand up for what he believed and thus denied Jesus.

This instance illustrates that our best intentions are not enough when it comes to dealing with dissonance! We need to cultivate fortitude as it is this rare quality that assists us to build courage of conviction. In honesty Peter was not a bad person as he genuinely loved Jesus, but when push came to shove, love alone was insufficient. It needed grit and determination to do the right thing. Peter possessed a heart full of love that failed to shine through at a crucial time in the relationship.

Unresolved offence – Absalom is a classic example of an individual who suffered from dissonance due to unresolved offence. The frightening part of the Absalom/Amnon saga is that no one could have predicted from Absalom’s’ silence that he planned to harm his brother Amnon. Absalom’s half-brother Amnon had raped and violated their sister Tamar. This dastardly deed grieved Absalom sorely and yet he pretended that all was well. It is commonly believed that silence is golden yet I beg to differ, sometimes silence is not as golden as we make it out to be.

Silence can be very intimidating as you are unsure what the other person is thinking. In his silence Absalom deceived their father David into believing that all was well between his two sons. 2 Samuel 13:22-23 — But Absalom spoke to Amnon neither good nor bad, for Absalom hated Amnon, because he violated his sister Tamar. After two full years Absalom had sheepshearers at Baal-hazor, which is near Ephraim, and Absalom invited all the king’s sons”. It is at this party during sheep shearing that Absalom exacted revenge on Amnon and murdered him.

Dissonance can also manifest itself in different ways, a person may appear tranquil externally, yet something sinister may be brewing on the inside. It is in this light that offences should be dealt with and resolved speedily to avoid the sometimes tragic consequences of dissonance. I have often read accounts of men who have axed their wives to death, women who have scalded their husbands with cooking oil and many other heinous acts of violence perpetrated by people on those whom they supposedly love.

I have often puzzled over these instances and found the answers to this conundrum when I began to understand the dangers of dissonance caused by unresolved offence. Ephesians 4:26-27 encourages: Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.

Resonance – Developing one face is a feat that can be achieved and in fact all believers should work at possessing one. Having one face could be compared to having resonance in your life. Resonance would be the flip side of the dissonance coin.

Resonance is defined as when something echoes especially with a deep sound; or a sound produced by sound waves and echoes on another object.

Resonance is a repetition, or echoing of a sound. The analogy of an echo is poignant as we describe one face. An echo is single and does not change en route to its destination. If one shouts “yes” into an empty room, the word “yes” rings and echoes from where you are standing to the end of the room. The echo does not transform into “no” before it gets to the end of the room. If it did, we would all believe that perhaps there was a ghost in the room.

As believers we should strive to have resonance in our hearts, possessing “one face”. We should endeavour to experience singleness of heart and this is achieved when our minds, heart, speech and actions are harmonised and synchronised. Our minds should be trained to think faith thoughts and our mouths to speak confessions of faith. We should be truthful, possess integrity, making our ‘yes’ a genuine ‘yes’ and our ‘no’ a true ‘no’. What you say should be what you mean! This will deal decisively with gossip and backbiting. Gossips and backbiters are persons who are suffering from high doses of dissonance.

How to deal with dissonance

Acknowledge your weakness, be truthful with yourself.

Repent — Peter was redeemed because of his repentance, after he had let Jesus down he wept bitterly as he realized the gravity of what he had done. Judas on the other hand chose not to repent but rather take his life because of pride and a blind spot. Failure to repent could be a result of the inability to acknowledge your contribution to the breakdown of a relationship and caused by a huge blind spot on your part.

Cultivate the fear of God. The fear of God has left the church and thus we have become a conscienceless people. The fear of God is the beginning of all wisdom.

Be bold to confront issues, this will teach you to ring true. Let what is in your heart come through as this will reduce the need to gossip.

Feed on the word to establish the correct foundations of faith. Search your heart before you speak, don’t get involved in cheap talk. Use your words sparingly and mean what you say. Develop wisdom, as wisdom is the principle thing.

God cannot work with dissonant people, strive to have resonance in your life. May your heart, head, mouth, actions all flow together. Develop and maintain one face.