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Lenox Lizwi Mhlanga on Saturday

The reason why I am writing about fashion this week has nothing to do with the weather. Bad as it has become. I was motivated by a news report that caught my eye the other day.

For the sake of clarity, let me quote it verbatim: “Wearing saggy pants could get expensive in tiny Timmonsville, South Carolina (United States).
A new town ordinance outlaws wearing sagging pants, trousers or shorts that intentionally display a person’s underwear.

After initial warnings, third and subsequent offences carry a fine ranging from $100 to $600.

Town administrator Mary Bines says the ordinance, which also bans nudity, was passed by the Town Council 5-1 on Tuesday night.

The sagging style has been popular for years among young people and hip-hop artists.

The text of the law says the town, about 70 miles east of Columbia, wishes to maintain decorum on its streets.

Council members have also said the ordinance is aimed at helping young people make better choices.”

I will not go into the debate that is raging around that decision, that includes claiming that it is a form of ‘racial profiling.’ All I can say is that abantu laba balesikhathi (too much time on their hands.)

A bit of a history session probably suffices. This comes from Cladwell, a site that is a personal stylist for men. In other words, it advises men on how ‘‘to dress properly.”

Sagging pants: wearing pants below the waist so that undergarments are showing.

Sources say that sagging pants began in the US prison system.

Belts are not allowed to be worn, due to the fact that they can be used as weapons or as a means to commit suicide. This resulted in the ill-fitting generic pants, too large to stay up on their own, to ride low on prisoner’s hips.

Hip-hop artists adopted this look in the 90s (because you’re not cool, if you don’t do time, right?), and it quickly became popular among the youth. (Now where did I see this before?)

The most disturbing myth of the origin of saggy pants also comes from the same prison system, and raises even more serious questions about why one would want to emulate this trend.

Sagging was said to be a symbol that the ‘sagger’ was sexually available to other prisoners, or alternatively, already taken by another inmate.
While several sources claim this to be true, others say this is just a nasty rumour. Which means they like Hip Hop!

Sagging pants may also be as simple as a rebellion, claims another. The stereotypical “nerd” wears his pants very high, sagging is the exact opposite.
Just like the misappropriation of the word ‘nigga’ as a term of endearment, the cultural phenomenon of sagging pants speaks exclusively to the institutionalised brainwashing of black America, writes Kirsten West Savali, a social commentator.

Before you start ranting and raving, be reminded that in Tanzania, the infrangible President John Magufuli was said to have banned the mini skirt to stop the spread of HIV. Allow me time to laugh…

The claim that the very liberal fashion item causes AIDS is so far-fetched, it’s beyond ridiculous. Really? It’s a good thing Magufuli said it was not true. Otherwise my respect for him would have gone south.

Think deeply over the dire ramification of such a move to the entire male species. Allow me to go back into history once more. All those years ago the loin cloth was just about the only thing that separated women (and men) from being lashed for indecent exposure.

Ogling wasn’t even an issue until the missionaries ambled over with their sweet talk about morals and civilisation.

Talk about double standards. They even had problems convincing the locals that they were half naked . . . or is it half dressed?

What really seems to be the problem? Someone hypothesised the link between rape and the wearing of mini-skirts.

I will be the first to admit that there are perverts prowling the streets who are turned into sex maniacs at the slightest sight of thigh. No, not chicken thigh! My beef is on why people even entertain the thought that the rest of us, because of a couple of demented misfits, fail to contain their urges?

But to link the mini to the spread of HIV really takes the cake.

Mini-skirts may admittedly pose a traffic hazard. But the road traffic safety people are yet to quantify the number of car accidents that are the direct result of drivers being distracted by women wearing minis.

That, I am sad to say, is yet to happen. I have read somewhere that there are women who try to influence the outcome of their driving tests by wearing skimpies.

Well, the silence from the direction of the Driving Instructors and Inspectors on this allegation is certainly deafening. This assumes that there is a propensity among males to stop thinking rationally at the sight of an exposed part of the female anatomy. Really!

The million-dollar question has always been: Why do ladies choose to wear minis? To show more leg, duh!

Interestingly enough they still go through all those motions of trying to pull the miniscule item clothing back over their exposed legs, creating more attention in the process. It’s all part of the act.

Ask the feminists and they will tell you that they are exercising a basic freedom – that of exposing themselves, sorry, of expression. Reminds me of what Botswana President Ian Khama said in one of his celebrated Kgotla speeches.

That if some BaTswana women had their way, they would strip and walk around naked.

We are in Zimbabwe, a liberal Christian nation, except for a few fanatics, where it would be a cold day in hell if they banned miniskirts. Sagging trousers, perhaps, not minis.