Zimpapers Logo

Bongiwe Nkomazana, Gender
In previous weeks, I have written about women’s struggle with weight, skin lightening, make-up and even black women’s hair. This week, I want to take all of those issues and talk about them wholly as just body image. What we are trying to achieve is positive body image and I know for most the first thing that comes to mind is weight right?

However, body image consists of more, it is deeper than that. In fact, with the operative word being image, body image is the way you see yourself physically both when you think about yourself and when you look in a mirror. So positive body image does not come from someone else seeing your physical appearance positively but it is self introspection that leads to self love. An average person has a picture of themselves in their heads when they think about their bodies.

You know how we always get ourselves jeans that are too big or too small because we picture ourselves as too tiny or too big in our heads. That is an example of what I am referring to as the image we have of ourselves.

I am not a fan of my hands. I got them from my father so I think they would look better on a man but they were given to me. I feel better about them when I have a manicure though. So what we are going to talk about today is how we get to a point where we view ourselves in a positive light. How do I, for one, embrace my man hands and glorify them for just being mine. How do we get to a point as women, where we think of our appearance and feel like yes!

I love myself because I am enough and more. Truth be told, no one is perfect and no matter how much you try, you will never be perfect in that sense of being without flaw but with a different outlook on body image you could start to appreciate yourself and realise how perfect you are in your flaws.

First things first, we need to have a positive attitude. I read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and it basically explained the power of the mind, how what we choose to think about and focus on usually comes to fruition. Hence, the power of a positive attitude that leads to positive thinking and just positive vibes about yourself all round. This may sound a tad bit fairytale but I am a true believer in this theory and I challenge you to give it a go.

How do I stay in a positive state of mind one may ask? That is the hardest part but the moment we stop comparing ourselves to other people, the better we will feel. Instagram is a stage ladies and gentlemen, where most of us are guilty of strategically posting ourselves in strategic angles at strategic places that make it look like we are picture perfect, pun intended, yet we are far from it in real life. However, scrolling through all these gorgeous filtered images usually makes us feel somewhat inferior, like we have to be like those pictures in order to be fulfilled. While you are at it, also avoid criticising Jesus’ children. Being judgy-wudgy is a bad habit and if you are a known Judge Judy, chances are that you will be judged right back and so you develop this paranoia of trying to be perfect at all times. It is a vicious cycle. So just be nice. The more you allow people to be imperfect, the more you will give yourself and your imperfections a break as well.

The next part is a bit more practical and that is to actually know your body. Study yourself, look at those man hands, knock knees, small chest or whatever it is that you dislike about your body. Realise that it is not going anywhere no matter how much you wish upon a star, it makes up who you are. Accept it.

Then go on to list, write it down if you have to, all the things that your body is able to do like how your man hands can hold, carry, cook despite their aesthetics, how your legs take you from point A to B despite their shape and how you can get away with whatever style of shirt or dress despite your bra size.

Remind yourself of all the things that you would not be able to do without your body and its elements and hopefully that will turn any sort of dislikes that you have about your physical appearance to more appreciative feelings. The more you value your body the more you will work towards improving it from a place of self-love as opposed to a place of detest. Also list the non-physical characteristics that you love about yourself because that is really who are, don’t ever forget that.

Lastly, I think it is of great importance to be in control of your feelings and/or emotions. Unfortunately or fortunately we do not exist in a vacuum. We live with people who believe that freedom of speech includes passing ugly and hurtful comments about you and your physique. Body shaming is real and people do it consciously and unconsciously. Attention people, to tell someone that they look like a hippo is body shaming. It may be funny to you and your audience but you are humiliating someone by mocking their body shape or size. There are more sensitive and constructive ways of communicating so let us all be aware of how we handle each other, especially as women. Anyway, we can’t change how people come at us but we can definitely control how we react to them.

There are times we have heard things that have hurt us or made us down right livid. Because these things could potentially make us look at ourselves in a different light, a dimmer light, it is important for us to quickly realise what we are feeling upon hearing these things and why we are feeling the way we are feeling. The best thing to instil in yourself in order to manage your feelings is that what the next person thinks of you is none of your business. Their hurtful remarks are truly just a reflection of their own insecurities. By doing this, you detach yourself from those comments and continue to strive to be the best version of yourself.

We only have one body and so it goes without saying that we should take care of it. Positive body image is everything because it determines how you see the world and whether you will live your life with your head held high or shame-facedly. My advice to us is to eat right, keep moving, dress beautifully, go somewhere nice and spend time with people who make us laugh. Look at yourself and love what you see.