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Bongiwe Nkomazana
When I read around suicide as I wrote last week’s tribute to Blessing whom we lost to suicide, I was further triggered by a statistic that states that more young women are killing or attempting to kill themselves today more than ever.

It is no secret that the world has become a crueler, uglier place and sometimes the hate that it gives off may be detrimental to a woman because of her delicate nature, furthermore if the woman is still young and trying to find her footing in life. Please note that when I say delicate, I am not taking away from a woman’s strength. When I say delicate, I refer to those weak moments where our dainty and graceful nature appears to be rejected by the world. As indestructible as we may be, we still have weak spots, weak days where our burdens wear us down.

I mentioned last week that in Zimbabwe, there is still a stigma that is attached to suicide hence people do not look for the help they need nor do they come forward to share their feelings and thoughts on suicide.

This article is, therefore, a back to basics guide that will hopefully be helpful in shifting perspectives on the issue resulting in more interest and research on how these things affect African women and men.

Many suicides are committed by women who are depressed. Despite the increase in knowledge of depression and other mental illnesses, little is known about depression among African populations, especially African women. Depression is a mental health disorder that causes chemical imbalances in the brain that in turn lead to general apathy towards life, despair and weariness.

Contrary to popular belief, to say “mental health disorder” does not mean someone has literally lost their mind. Imagine how you feel on a bad day. You are probably fatigued, unmotivated and irritable. Imagine feeling that way everyday around the clock and not knowing why you are feeling this way with no control over those feelings. Would that be life?

Young women have so many standards that are usually unachievable, that they have to meet and are put under so much pressure by society and eventually themselves to be this cookie cutter model. They are judged on the way they look instead of their abilities and personalities. Researchers have written about how women magazines have 10.5 more advertisements on weight loss than men’s magazines. This subliminally tells women that the way you are is not good enough and instead of trying to be the best version of yourself strive to be like this model in the advertisement.

No matter how secure you are in your skin, those images of what is perceived as the perfect body/skin/hair will have you drifting off to a place where you wonder how it would be like if you were like that, even if it’s just for two minutes, before you snap back to self love.

Most girls between the ages of 13 and 21 have not developed that security and are slowly learning about themselves and how to love what they are. Things like fitting in or getting good grades and body image cause a lot of anxiety in young women and because we were all created with different thresholds some do not take it as well as others will thus slipping into depression.

Mind you, depression is not always characterised by low spirits. Some people cover up their depression with hyper activity so it’s pretty complicated. Then an alarming fact was that we have children as young as 10 years old taking their lives. “What problems does a child have at 10,” one may ask.

There are factors that have been linked to the increase of the risk of suicide. They may be categorised as socio-cultural, individual and situational. These can include drug abuse, unemployment, previous trauma, family breakdown, poverty, poor social conditions and social isolation. The risks associated with suicide in women specifically include domestic violence and pregnancy issues like unwanted pregnancies, miscarriages and postpartum depression. However, pregnancy and motherhood being ‘risk factors’ of suicide are at the same time known as “protective factors” because they stop a woman from going ahead with a suicide due to the bond they have with their child.

Other factors include childhood sexual abuse, eating disorders and body image issues. These seem like common problems that most people have gone through and come out of alive and happy right? WRONG.

These are real scarring issues that have left women in pain, questioning their self-worth and reason to live. Like we said earlier, what might be light to one person might be devastating to the next.

While one woman might draw strength from her ordeals the next woman is breaking down every day because of them. I feel like as I write this, I am realising more and more that suicide stems from a place of deep deliberation with one self and even deeper feelings of hopelessness because killing oneself is usually the last step after enduring a number of factors and struggling to be happy despite them.

The biggest tool of prevention as far as I am concerned is that we pay attention to our loved ones and those around us. The Mental Health Organisation explains that the biggest tell-tale signs of a person planning to kill themselves lie in their behaviour.

While some will passively mention that they intend to kill themselves with a smile on their face to everyone’s dismissal, others will be withdrawn and uninterested in the things that they once loved, some will act impulsively and generally out of character while others will prepare a will and start giving out their possessions in preparation for their death.

Another way of looking at suicide prevention is to look at the man in the mirror and make the change within us first .As people, we inflict pain and suffering on other people intentionally and unintentionally instead of being our brothers’ keepers.

If we become more conscious of the power our tongue and actions have on the wellbeing of the next person we just might create environments that are not so cruel.

All in all, just pay attention, give out love and no hate and you could save a life.