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Yoliswa Dube-Moyo

I WOULD like to think of myself as introverted. I’m not really one for public gatherings or crowds in general. I keep a very small circle of friends and like to keep to my little corner whenever I can. 

But, because of social media and digital technology, there’s no inhibition and I often find myself interacting with lots of people on a daily basis. 

I saw an advertisement of a talk show through an Instagram post, shared it with a friend and next thing we were attending the event. I felt rather uncomfortable initially because we had to wait a while before the business of the day began. 

Me being me, I sat in my little corner and started doing what I do best — observe. My friend was catching up on her social media and I watched people walk in and out of the room we were in. 

Then this one girl caught my attention. It was her shoes that captured me. Not that they were anything I would buy but I just wondered how she was coping with such a high heel! She seemed confident and strut her stuff like it was nothing. She paired these platform heels with matching tights and a halter-neck top. The girl was in a beige hat and in that moment, I asked myself why she was even wearing the hat in the first place. 

It was overcast plus her outfit would’ve looked much better without the hat. And besides, we were indoors — why the heck was she wearing a big brim hat! While I was still lost in my thoughts, the producer of the show called us in to begin. 

The show went on but towards the end, the girl in the hat stood up to make a contribution. Again, I asked myself why she wasn’t removing the hat, all the more now that the camera was rolling. I was about to get my answer. 

It came up as part of her contribution that she was born with motor neurone disease and she also had alopecia (hair loss), that’s why she wore the hat. In fact, she said she’s been wearing hats all her life! I couldn’t think how that must’ve been for her. She removed the hat and underneath it was a bald head. My heart sank. I’ve never felt so bad in my life! How could I have been so harsh in my judgment? She seemed confident in herself and continued speaking confidently despite the eyes boring into her after the big reveal. It reminded me of Ruvheneko Parirenyatwa’s no make-up challenge. People went to town about how her dolled up face looked much different from her natural self. 

There was a whole debate on social media about make-up and how women misrepresent themselves. Some people said make-up was deceptive while others were of the opinion that women should live their lives as they please — with or without make-up. This debate made me realise how much some things are much more deeply rooted than meets the eye. 

Some girls said they had terrible skin and were not confident enough to walk around without a bit of concealer. Others said it was a preference, just like choosing whether or not to wear jewellery. 

I say, as much as each must keep to their own —remember that you’re a brand and you don’t live on an island. It’s important that you look and smell good, consistently. I also say don’t always be quick to judge people for their choices, there just might be a story behind the story. BUT, while we learn to be accommodative and less judgmental of others, let’s also remember that the goal is to be stylish. Ultimately. The goal is to be elegant. The goal is not to be seen; it is to be remembered — for the right reasons. 

Until next week, flaunt your pattern and style and don’t forget to catch up with me on Twitter handle @PatternStyleZw or drop me a WhatsApp message on +263774492700.