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Robert Mukondiwa
Andy Muridzo faces a formidable challenge ahead of him. It is a story that made several people laugh all the time back at Stamford Bridge in England just after the turn of the century.

As a steward working in one of the most hallowed football grounds in the world for Chelsea, I heard some of the greatest quips about a player known as Cristiano Ronaldo.

Then, the joke was some idiot at Manchester United had been given a whole lot of money to go and buy Ronaldo for the team. Except they did not want Cristiano but the Brazilian. The idiot went on to buy the Portuguese and the song that would erupt in the stands was one which said ‘you bought the wrong Ronaldo!’ It was a whole lot of fun as the ‘copycat’ struggled to play well.

Fast forward to today and nobody remembers the now fat Ronaldo. All they know is the amazing pretender, Cristiano, who became the real deal by seizing the moment when the aging buck-toothed Brazilian was on his way out.

There is a never ending cycle in Zimbabwe of the odd breakthrough artiste, especially in music circles, who pitches wearing large borrowed robes and then transfigures into the real deal.

In our economy, when the bond coin hit the streets, nobody wanted to touch it. One would think it had the Ebola plague smeared on its cursed face and everybody ran for the rand coins. Today, the South African rand can be the source of many nightmares just by looking at it and everybody wants their bond coins.

What a difference seizing the moment can make. But while it has outsmarted the rand coin, the bond coin will never be a United States dollar — the REAL thing.

It happened with Blessing Shumba. When his music seemed to tire, lo and behold there came along a young clean faced pretender called Mathias Mhere who, armed with innocent looks, a bootleg version of Shumba’s voice and sound, and a bit of ‘Favour’ from God, stole the limelight and now Shumba shivers in Mathias’ shadow.

Now Mhere is the real deal while Shumba is the counterfeit.

Others have failed. Charles Charamba is still the United States Dollar and Trymore Bande is a bond coin. Similarly, the late Tongai Moyo is still Michael Jackson and Peter Moyo is Tito Jackson.

As soon as word of alleged indiscretions by Zimbabwe’s biggest and arguably best star of the moment Jah Prayzah were raised, for rising starlet Andy Muridzo it may have been time to seize the moment and become the ‘real Ronaldo’ now that mudhara may be having a lot on his plate.

But what does it take to claim space in a crowded arts industry that has few heavyweights battling for limited money in a struggling economy?

Perhaps artistes need to know what can make them succeed especially by observing the folly of their predecessors. Media relations have a great bearing on any artiste. Artistes seem to be of the belief that they can have their images spruced up by the media when they hit rock bottom by paying dirty hollow headed writers masquerading as journalists. Nothing can be further from the truth.

Corruption and paying bribe money creates a cycle where these dark dirty scribes continually ask and ask and ask and hold your soul to ransom.

Investing in publicists is a great step towards building a formidable brand as much as making great music and perhaps artistes should learn that.

Arrogance and ignorance are the first step to dying a long and painful death when one eventually slips and no amount of bribery can save one’s image and life in the industry.

Investing in intelligent managers, who are competent is also a great help. A REAL manager. Not a guy one shared their desk with in high school.

Not the pastor’s son or wife’s brother, but a qualified competent individual.

Winky D has gotten it right because in Jonathan Banda for example, he has a man who runs his affairs smoothly and perfectly.

He isn’t a saint, Banda, but managers, by their very nature, are supposed to haggle, please, displease, anger, satisfy and deliver in almost equal measure. For the music industry to become a real industry it needs REAL managers as well.

In short, for people like Andy Muridzo, and everybody else that hopes to make it in the world of music, the lessons are there and clear — arrogance is a cancer that can only get your career killed. Organisation is a vaccine that can prevent terrible consequences in future.

A copycat can become the real deal as we have seen. Mhere from the shadow of Shumba. The bond coin from the shadow of the rand. Tongai Moyo from the shadow of Leonard Dembo. Macheso from the shadow of Nicholas Zakaria. There is more than enough space for another star in the firmament that is our arts industry. You only just need to seize the moment. Be organised. And have a game plan that doesn’t include growing a big head.

@zimrobbie