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Yoliswa Dube

I’m literally huffing and puffing as I write this. After the rat race of trying to get ready for the day following a sleepless night with my new little boss, catching a flight of stairs seems like so much work. 

In case you’ve been wondering, I’ve had to do a very important job which now means changing dirty diapers, singing lullabies to manage tantrums and squeezing out feed after feed! It’s been such a challenging experience but every little giggle, coo and smile has been totally worth it. I answer to Khaya’s Mum now. 

And if you’re feeling a little fancy, Zion will do. The little boy has taught me so much I didn’t know about myself. He’s also changed my otherwise neatly put together life — everything is a mess most of the time. I’ve now found respect for all the yummy mummies out there. It’s really not easy. Pregnancy itself takes a huge toll on a human being. You gain so much weight, avoid salon trips because you can’t stand the smell of hair or hair products or your bladder just won’t let you live. Did I mention how fast you go for comfort over fit? If you’re unlucky like me, your skin just won’t moisturise right or the lotion just won’t have the right smell. I could smell the petroleum in Vaseline Blue Seal. I kid you not. For a very long time, I preferred odourless lotion and roll on. I forgot about my Carolina Herrera and Giorgio Armani fragrances. I won’t even go into what I preferred eating. 

A friend liked to joke saying I was carrying a Sukuzukuduma — an unsophisticated ratchet! The struggle was real! The raging hormones mess up with your skin — there’s no running away from the mask of pregnancy. And then there’s the nose! Boy oh boy, how the nose grows! I avoided pictures because of it. No matter how much make-up and lipstick I wore (as if the lipstick would sit well on dry lips), the nose still wanted to be the hero of the face like butternut on a plate. And people made it worse. They talk about how much weight you’ve gained and how ugly you look like you don’t already know it! 

The good thing is everything goes back to normal, almost, after delivery. We’ll talk about labour another day. Sheesh! The day I’ll never forget! Before you know it, you’re looking for clothes that fit your new body and those convenient for you to be able to feed your little one. 

Then there’s days you think you’re ready to leave the house and someone decides they’ve had too much to eat and spit onto your clothes. Or they decide they need to go to the bathroom just as you’re about to leave the house and it’s time for a diaper change for you. You’ve got to put that Michael Kors watch aside and do what needs to be done. My biggest shock still is how it feels like my feet grew a size up. A whole rack of shoes can’t fit! It must be the prolonged swelling that messes up with the structure of the feet. I really don’t know but that’s my guess. 

Heels are so uncomfortable to wear though, even if they fit. The shortest of heels feel like someone is pricking my soles. But because I like nice things, the feet will get with the programme eventually. I can’t be pumped up forever. It really can be a challenge just doing you because it’s really not about you anymore. 

I really don’t know how mothers to two or more little ones do it. Its hard work and you have to work a little harder to look good yourself. That’s just it — there’s absolutely no excuse to being rif- raff. You just have to make it work. 

Wake up earlier if you have to. Buy a size bigger if your pocket permits. Cut your hair if you have to. Start a skin care regime that will help your skin recover. Make time for yourself. It’s a process and you’ll realise how things will work better for you if you try harder. Remember you’re a brand. Not everyone will know what you’ve been going through so they won’t always judge you kindly. 

Whatever has set you back — illness, injury, stress — whatever it is, rise above it and remember when you look good, you feel good and when you feel good, you thrive. You can’t be going through life always feeling sorry for yourself and making excuses for your unkempt nails, smelly armpits and dirty clothes. 

Until next week, flaunt your pattern and style and don’t forget to catch up with me on Twitter handle @Yolisswa or drop me a WhatsApp message on +263774492700.