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The human face of spiritualism never ceases to amaze us.
This past week Far, the furry-headed one of the wife who spent the night of bliss in the arms of a fellow parishioner in a hotel room tells us that the good woman has once again found religion with a different church leader.

She has joined the growing numbers who are following the latest huge sensation on the local gospel scene. To hear them speak of the fellow, he is to Christianity what butter is to bread.
Far has been telling us that of a Sunday his wife leaves home at six to take her place in a queue of similar minded desperados whose only hope of earthly happiness seems to lie with the said fellow.

We are still trying to figure out his proper title. Some insist on calling him by a noun which means that he can see into the future while others say he should just be called a man of the cloth.
We at the usual place not being regular patrons of the various places of worship are not in the least qualified to make a ruling therefore we have resorted to just using his surname and leaving the debate on his title to the experts.

When Far started talking about the crowd-pulling fellow, it turned out that everyone has heard of him and has one or two stories of his power to perform miracles.
According to Paul, he himself witnessed several miracles. One woman got an errant husband back when the good man prayed over the man’s photo.

(We have decided not to be nasty and refer to other well-known “people of God” who are followed by stories of staging healings and prophesies).
According to Paul, the spiritual leader just singled out the woman from the crowd and informed her that she had marital problems to which the lady assented and explained that her husband was like the singer who has suddenly discovered that marriage need not be limited to one partner for life.

But unlike the music man, the woman’s husband was not prepared to keep on chewing the old cud after acquiring a whole field of fresh green grass. Instead he had just decided to move to the new pastures and she had not seen or heard from him for a good number of weeks.

Paul says the woman was told to hold the photo of her husband (which she just happened to have conveniently brought along) while the great man prayed and just as the prayer ended, the woman’s mobile rang and lo and behold, it was the lost husband.

Miraculously he had rediscovered the love that had made him fall for the woman and marry her in the first place and he had also learnt that sweet sorghum just will not grow in a field of millet. In other words, a desirable mistress may be a great horizontal companion but is unlikely to be good permanent kitchen material.

Paul swears that the man is a marriage mender of note. With more and more people queueing up to see him we should begin to see a marked reduction in the number of couples needlessly enriching lawyers and bothering our few and very busy judges with their divorce cases.

Someone else observed that it is a surprise that medical professionals and undertakers are still in business and in some cases charging so exorbitantly when we have a man who is able to banish any disease with just a few words and a couple of hand movements.

And very soon there will be very few poor people as the man is also good at eradicating poverty with even fewer words and an upraised arm. Yours truly for one is gratified to hear that and has started actively encouraging all poor relatives to go and attend the man’s sermons. Who knows, he may just reveal that the family is harbouring a billionaire whose fortune is only a few demon-cleansing chants away. And thenmaybe that one can buy the drinks for a change!

According to eyewitness believers, some supplicants have secured employment, some have procured marriage partners, others have become ambulatory after years in wheelchairs and yet others have seen their stuttering briefcase businesses well set on the road to being conglomerates.

Though we pressed him, Paul declined to tell the regulars the particular solution that he had been in search of when he visited the centre of miracles. But from the way he swears by the man that thousands are following, we should be seeing one of his many plans come to fruition soon.

There are three major ambitions that have been on Paul’s mouth for a number of years. The steel company has got a suitor and the top football league of the country is already being sponsored so that leaves the comatose national airline.

The sky jockeys should keep their dollar on the man of miracles so that his prayers for Paul work as the others reputedly do and very soon they will have all the brand new planes that they can fly and all the juice they can burn.

Far is also not about to tell us what yearning sends his wife to leave home, rest and the marital bed so early on a Sunday. (We only hope that she does spend so many hours waiting to enter the haloed space and not be in yet another hotel room receiving blessings of a completely different kind).

He sure does sound like an amazing person, this prophet, pastor, reverend or whatever his correct title may be.
The man is apparently the anointed of God and whatever his correct title may be, there is no doubt that his powers are derived from the spiritual realm and his growing fame and fortune comes from his claims to divine favour.

But from the testimonies of the converted it is indisputable that this fellow moves around with an ever growing host of bodyguards.
So Bra Gee has a question, just one. Does that mean that the spiritual giant of unclear title is afraid of mere humans?
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